TOW All The Fanfics: Season One
by Greyhawk750
Summary: My collection of Fanfics, ranging from comedy to drama. I don't own the show, please R and R. Episode 22 of 22 is now finally up.
1. TOW The Tonight Show

**Tow The Tonight Show**

_Joey and Chandler are at their apartment, eating breakfast at the table. Joey pours a bowl of Cap'n Crunch and whines "This sucks". "What's wrong, dude", Chandler asks as he takes a sip of orange juice. "Remember when Cap'n Crunch had all the cool prizes and crap? Well now it's nothing. Nada. Zilch". Joey shout at the box "Bring back the crap". Chandler smirks and says "You know that's a cereal for kids, right"? Chandler pours a box of Lucky Charms and a package slips out. "Cool", Chandler exclaims, quickly opening the package, "A glow-in-the-dark pen"!_

**Opening Credits**

_Rachel, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are sitting on the sofa at Central Perk talking amongst themselves while Ross is talking on his cell phone "Ok... Ok...Ok...Sounds great". Ross returns to the rest of the group as Rachel asks who he was talking to. "That was Susan", Ross responded, "She and Carol are going out of town for a week, and we're going to watch Ben". Rachel starts to panic and says "Wha.. wha... what"? _

_"Sweetie, relax", her boyfriend comforted, "It will be fine. It will be fun, actually". Phoebe asks what they were going to do, and Ross shrugs and says he may take Ben to the museum. "Don't take him there", Phoebe protested, "Take him someplace fun". Ross sneered and said "The museum IS fun". Phoebe rolled her eyes and said "Yeah, if you're a geek". Chandler enters and sits down on the chair and Phoebe points and says "Your shirt has a rip in it"._

_"Great", Chandler moaned, "Now I have to go to the mall and get a new shirt". Phoebe gets happy and excited "Yea. I am so glad you ripped your shirt". Chandler looks puzzled and said "Exactly why is that great? This shirt was expensive". Phoebe laughed and said "No, it's not that. I just love going to the mall". Joey smiles and says "I know what you mean. I love going to the mall, too". Rachel look at Joey and says "The only thing you like about the mall is the food court" Ross mentioned that Joey also likes to ride the merry-go-round at the mall, too._

_"Yeah", Joey retorted, but at least I didn't cry when I didn't get to ride it". All eyes are on Chandler and he said "I really wanted to ride it". Monica said they didn't have time, and Chandler said "But Joey got to ride it". Chandler goes to get a coffee, telling Phoebe they'll leave in a minute. "I know where to take Ben", Joey offered. Rachel rolled her eyes and said "Please don't say the strip club"._

_"No", Joey replied, "Take him to a Knicks game". Ross shrugged and said "Maybe". Joey smiled and said "But since you mentioned the strip club..." Ross, Rachel and Monica were less than amused and scolded Joey for even thinking about taking Ben there. "No, not for Ben", Joey said, "For us. Ross let's go this afternoon". Rachel glared and Joey and said "Excuse me, but he is my boyfriend". Ross was amused by her jealousy and said "I don't need to see a beautiful woman, Rach. I've got you". Rachel looked up from the magazine she was reading, glared at Ross and said "What was that, honey"?_

_"Gotta run", Ross said as he kissed Rachel on the forehead, realizing what he said and how it sounded. "You know what you should do", Monica said as she took a bite from a blueberry muffin, "You should take Ben to the zoo" Rachel said that did sound like fun, but Monica warned her to keep Ross away from the Primates or he'll go into his whole "From Monkey to Man" speech. Ross was halfway out the door, turned around and shouted "It's a proven fact", before leaving, in a huff._

_"Ready to go, Pheebs", Chandler asked as he drank the last little bit of coffee that was in his cup. Chandler and Phoebe leave, to head over to the mall and Joey goes over to Rachel and says "So, how you doin'". Rachel frowns and says "Stop hitting on me". Joey goes over to Monica and says "How you doin". Monica frowns and says "Stop hitting on me". Joey goes and sulks in the chair and says "Women are mean"_

_It was a few hours later, and Joey was at his apartment watching TV when there was a knock on the door. Joey goes over and answers the door to find a salesman. "Good afternoon", the salesman greets, "Are you the decision maker here". Joey was confused and said "Uh... I guess so". The salesman enters and said "This is the digital age, and every house needs a computer". Joey chuckled and said "Not this house buddy. Why don't you try Ross Gellar. He's a total nerd"_

_"With a computer you can print a grocery list", The salesman said. Joey shook his head and said "I have a pen and paper than can do that, too". The salesman said that with a computer, a person could do research as well. Joey replied "I don't do research". In a low whisper the salesman said with a computer, a person could download porn. Joey smiled and said "Why didn't you just say that to begin with? You could have saved your speech. How much does a computer cost"?_

_Just then the phone started to ring and Joey went over to pick it up. "Joey", Estelle said, "I have great news, darling" Joey was excited and said "I'm up for an Academy Award". Estelle said no. "An Emmy", Joey asked and Estelle said no, as well. "A People's Choice", Joey asked and Estelle said no. "Dammit Estelle, I thought you said you had great news", Joey said in frustration. The salesman left as Joey and Estelle continued to talk._

_"I got you a spot on The Tonight Show", Estelle said. "Really", Joey said full of excitement, "That IS great news". Estelle replied "Not for the person who was the voice of Scooby Doo. He had to cancel because he came down with the flu". "So I'm 2cd choice", Joey asked. Estelle said it was more like 5th choice and Joey said "Yes! In your face 6th choice"! Estelle said the taping was the next day and Joey said "Tomorrow, as in the day after today? Damn I have an audition". Estelle said she didn't think the audition would go over, because "somebody" was spreading a rumor that Joey slept with the director's wife. "Is she cute", Joey asked._

_Chandler and Phoebe were walking thru the mall and Chandler went to a store to look at some shirts as Phoebe saw a vending machine. She put a quarter and tried to position the crane to win a small stuffed dog, but the crane kept missing. About 20 minutes passed and Chandler walked out of the store carrying a bag and saw Phoebe still at the machine. "Gimme another quarter", Phoebe said, saying she already spent $20 trying to win the dog._

_"Ya know Pheebs, you could actually go to the store next door and buy one for $5", Chandler informed her. "I know", Phoebe replied, "but he just looks so sad inside that case". Chandler drags her away from the machine, saying she wasted enough money for one day. They make their way to the food court for some lunch and Chandler sees the merry-go-round. "I wanna ride", Chandler says. "We don't have time", Phoebe said. "You had time when Joey got to ride", Chandler whined. "You can ride it next time, I promise", Phoebe said. Chandler just shook his head and said "That's what you said last time"_

_Ross and Rachel were at their apartment watching TV on the sofa. "What time are you going to pick up Ben", Rachel asked. "I'm not", Ross replied, "Susan and Carol are dropping him off on the way to the airport". Rachel look nervous as she said "Oh, ok". Ross asked if Rachel was ok with Ben staying with them, and Rachel said "Oh totally, I guess I am just nervous. We haven't really spent time together since he was a baby_

"_Relax, honey", Ross said, "He'll love you". Rachel looked at him and said "Do you really think so"? Ross kissed Rachel and said "I guarantee it". Joey burst in the room and said "Hey, guess what"? "You forgot how to knock", Rachel asked with a frown, "Ross and I could have been doing stuff". Joey smiled and said "So, were ya"? Rachel said they weren't doing "stuff" and Joey said that it played out differently in his mind_

_"What's going on"? Ross asked and Joey said with much excitement, "Guess who's gonna be on The Tonight Show"? Rachel couldn't contain her excitement and shouted "Oh My God"! Joey said "I know, it's great". Rachel asked, "So who's gonna be on? I bet it's Matt Damon". Joey frowned and said it was not and Rachel asked "It's it Mel Gibson"? Joey turned around to leave and said "See ya"_

_"I'm only kidding", Rachel said, "But seriously who is it"? Joey said "It's me"! Ross congratulates Joey and Rachel says "And we can come too, right"? Joey doesn't answer right away and pretends to dodge the question. "Please, I promise we'll be good". Joey nods and says ok and Rachel starts jumping up-and-down giggling. "See", Joey said, "This is what I'm talking about". Rachel simply said she needed to get it out of her system, and was ok now._

_A few minutes pass and there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it to find Mr. Heckles, who looks less than happy. "Your doing it, again", he informs Rachel who apologized. "Your disturbing my talk with the Queen", he informs them. "You're not talking with the Queen", Rachel says. Mr. Heckles says "I COULD be talking with The Queen". Ross walks over and says "Tell Her Majesty we said hello", and slams the door shut._

_It was an hour later, and Ross and Rachel were making a bed on the sofa, getting everything ready for Ben when they heard Monica shout "Joey, have you forgotten how to knock". They both chuckle as Rachel asked what time Susan and Carol were going to bring Ben over, and Ross said he should be here in about another hour or so. "Damn, we were supposed to go and watch Joey on The Tonight show"._

_"Oh, that's right", Ross said disappointedly, "We can't very well take Ben with us". Phoebe enters the apartment and Rachel asks her for a favor. "No, the last time I did a favor for you, I almost got arrested", Phoebe said. "Please, I will owe you soooooo big", Rachel begged and pleaded. "You already owe me sooooooooo big". Rachel begged Phoebe to watch Ben while she and Ross went to watch Joey_

_"Yeah, I can always watch it on TV. Joey has not done or said anything that I have not already heard", Phoebe said and Rachel and Ross thanked her. A few minutes later and Susan and Carol arrive with Ben. "Where are you off to"? Ross asked and Carol said they were taking a vacation to Seattle. Under his breath Ross muttered "I feel bad for Seattle". Susan cleared her throat and said "What was that", and Ross said "I said have a good flight"_

_Joey was at his apartment, pretending to talk to Jay Leno, not knowing Chandler was standing right behind him. "That's the best fake interview I've ever heard", Chandler said in his usual dry humor. Joey turned around and said "Man, I'm so nervous. I have never been this nervous before". Chandler told Joey to just take some deep breaths and relax, and that if he messes up, millions of people around the world will see it._

_"Thanks", Joey said sarcastically, "You're a big help". Joey sits down on the sofa and Chandler told him to relax and he'll be just fine. "But what If I do or say something stupid", Joey asked and Chandler said "So why should tonight be different than any other night"? Monica entered the apartment to tell the guys the limo was there. "Thanks... oh by the way, which car are you guys taking"?_

_"Why can't we ride in the limo", Monica asked and Joey said it was reserved for "the talent". "The Talent", Monica said, "Honey, you're not exactly Ben Affleck. And what about all the money Chandler shelled out for acting lessons, and what about all the times I drove you to auditions when your car got repossessed and went out for a Joey Special when you didn't get the part. I mean if all of that means nothing to you". Joey shook his head and said "Fine, fine, FINE. You guys can ride in the limo". Monica shrugged and said "Sure, if you really want us to"._

_Joey and Chandler are in the dressing room as Joey is nervously pacing back and forth, as laughter from the audience is heard as Jay Leno goes thru the monologue. Joey is still pacing and Chandler said "Do you mind? You're making ME nervous". There is a knock on the door as a security guard escorts Monica and Rachel to the room. Rachel sits on a leather sofa and pats in saying "Just think, George Clooney's ass could have been here"_

_"Where's Ross at", Joey asked and Rachel replied that he was on his way. "Just think", Monica said, "In a few minutes the entire world is going to watch you". Joey continues to pace back and forth and Rachel tries to calm him down and tells him to sit down and take some deep breaths as Monica gently rubs his shoulders, trying to get him to relax. The program director enters and says "You're on in 10 minutes, Mr. Tribbiani. "10 minutes", Joey whines and starts to pace again. Chandler just rolls his eyes and says "Oh my god"._

_Jay Leno is sitting at his desk and said "My next guest plays the smooth and suave Dr. Drake Ramoray on the hit show Days of Our Lives. Ladies and Gentleman, Joey Tribbiani". The audience cheers and applauds as Joey makes his way over to Jay Leno before shaking his hand and sitting on the sofa. "So on the show, you play a doctor, right", Jay asks and Joey says "Actually I play a neurosurgeon, but basically the same thing". Jay laughed and said "I also hear you went out with somebody who thought you actually WAS Dr. Drake Ramoray". Joey nodded and said, "Yeah we went out for a while, but then she got strange". Jay laughed and said "You mean she wasn't strange before"?_

_A few hours pass as Phoebe quietly dusts her guitar as Ben is sleeping on the sofa as Ross and Rachel quietly enter and Joey enters a few minutes later. "You're famous", Phoebe said and Joey said "I'm still the same ol Joey, except for the fact I was interviewed by Jay Leno and you weren't". Ross comments that he was surprised by how good Joey was and Joey said he knew everything would be ok and Rachel said how Joey was freaking out, before he went on stage_

**Ending Credits**

_Rachel and Chandler are the only ones at Central Perk, sitting in their usual places sipping coffee when Joey enters. "Oh my God, it's Joey Tribbiani", Rachel shrieked in mock hysteria. "I would like to thank all the little people who made all this possible". Joey spots an attractive waitress, walks up to her and says "How you doin'" She giggles as she hands him her phone number. "This is so great, ever since being on The Tonight Show, I've had more dates than I can count", Joey said _

_"You can count"? Chandler said with a smirk. Rachel said "Joey that's so shallow and you're such a pig". Joey showed her his "little black book" and said "Maybe so, but I'm a pig with a full schedule for the next 2 weeks"_


	2. TOW Coney Island

**Tow Coney Island**

_Ben was in the living room, watching cartoons and eating a bowl of cereal, as Rachel was preparing the coffee pot. Ross entered from the bedroom, kissed Rachel and said "good morning", just as the phone started to ring. Ross went to answer the phone as Rachel poured her a cup of coffee and went back to the living room. "This is so cool. My mom never let's me eat in the living room", Ben said. Rachel said for him to hurry and finish so they could all go to Coney Island for the day._

_Ross was still in the kitchen, talking on the phone, "But Donald can't we find somebody else to deal with this? I promised my son that we were going to Coney Island today". Ross talks for a few minutes longer and says "Ok, let me break the news to Ben". Ross hangs up the phone and sighs as he looks at Ben, happily watching cartoons. He promised Ben that he would take them to Coney Island. How can he just go back on his word like that? But then again, this was his job and he always told Ben that work comes before fun. Either he would go back on his word, or be a hypocrite. Neither choice was appealing, but he knew what he needed to do._

_Ross went to the living room and turned off the TV. "Are we ready to go", Ben asked with excitement. "Sit down, Ben. I have some bad news", Ross said. As Ben sat down on the sofa, Rachel asked what was going on and Ross explained that Donald asked him to come to work today. "We had some vandals strike the museum last night and it's not very pretty". Rachel chuckled as said "What happened, did they take some bones home to their dogs"? Ross frowned and said "The museum recently opened a Flintstone display in children's area, and somebody broke in and re-arranged the figures, and let's just say everybody is having a gay old time"_

**Opening Credits**

_Rachel and Ben were still at the apartment. "I'm sorry about this, but we can still have some fun". Rachel gets excited and says "I can finally teach you how to bargain shop". Ben asked what "bargain shopping" was and Rachel said "This is why schools need to teach shopping 101". Phoebe enters the apartment as Ben comes running to her and gives her a big hug and says "Hi, Aunt Phoebe". Phoebe says hi and turns to Rachel and says "Aren't you supposed to be going to Coney Island"? Rachel says they were, but Ross had to go in to work because of an emergency_

_Phoebe asked what the emergency was and Rachel said "Ross said something about gay cartoon characters". "And you're going to just sit here and sulk", Phoebe asked, "Just because Ross isn't here doesn't mean we can't do something". Ben mentioned that Rachel was going to teach him how to bargain shop and Phoebe pointed out that Ben was only 7 and Rachel, rather defensively, said it was a survival skill._

_"Why don't we go to Coney Island", Phoebe suggested, "We'll pack a picnic and make a day of it". Rachel said that sounded like fun and Ben said "Aunt Rachel, will you ride The Beast with me". Rachel was looking for a way out that, when Phoebe jumped in and said "I'll ride it with you". Rachel breathed a sigh of relief and said "Oh, thank you God". Phoebe suggested they all meet at the Coffee House in about an hour._

_About an hour later, Rachel and Ben arrive at Central Perk and Phoebe enters a few minutes later, carrying a picnic basket. "Now all we need is a bear and park ranger", Rachel joked. Gunther walked up and pours coffee for Rachel and Phoebe and poured some juice for Ben. Ben drinks the juice and waits by Phoebe's taxi. "It's too bad that Ross is always having to miss out in Ben's life. Sometimes I think something that's been dead for a billion years is more important to Ross than his own son", Rachel said._

_"Oh quit exaggerating", Phoebe said, "Dinosaurs have only been dead for 300 million years... Oh my God, I sound like Ross". Joey and Chandler arrive at Central Park, arguing. "I can't believe you think Judy Jetson is cuter than the Little Mermaid", Joey cries out. Chandler rolls his eyes and says "I can't believe it's been 30 minutes and we're still having this discussion" Phoebe goes to the counter and gets a scone from Gunther_

_"Hey", Phoebe said, "Do you guys wanna come to Coney Island with us"? Joey replies that he has a date and Chandler asks who with. Joey says "You know that cute model at the department store"? Chandler smirked and says "Seriously? Can she BE any more out of your league"? Joey chuckled and said "Listen to this. I'm getting lip from the dude who has no date". Phoebe smiles and says "Great, so you can go with us then"._

_Chandler said with a frown "Like I don't have anything better to do? Like I possibly don't have a life outside the 6 of us"?. Rachel shrugged and said "Ok, I'll ask Monica if she wants to go". Chandler said "No, I wanna go". They all finish their drinks and head for Phoebe's taxi as Ben opens the door to the back and Phoebe said "Ben, why don't you ride up front because the back seat belt does not work". Rachel, Chandler and Ben all scramble for the front seats._

_Ross is at the museum, supervising as workers re-arrange the display. "Put Fred over there... no put him over there... no the first place was right". The worker sets Fred down and says "How about up your ass"? Ross says "It's fine where it is, actually". The sound system starts to play "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and Ross stares off into space, daydreaming about Marcel. One of the workers approaches Ross and asks what he thinks. Ross looks over the display and says it looked good. Donald walks up and thanks Ross for coming in on such short notice. "We really need to get some more security", Ross noted and Donald replied that was not possible, with cuts in the budget, but understood Ross' concern. _

_Ross leaves and heads back to the Coffee House and runs into Joey and his date. "Hey, I thought you were at Coney Island". Ross said that he had to go to work, but was on his way. Joey introduced Ross to his date, Amanda. "I'm not used to just picking up women", Joey said and Ross coughed as Joey glared at him. "I think you're sweet. My ex-boyfriend used to play around and sleep around"._

_"Not me", Joey said, "I'm not the kind of guy who just sleeps with anybody". Ross coughs again and Amanda said "Is your friend ok"? Joey glared at Ross and said "You should take care of that cough, before it becomes fatal". Amanda and Joey say goodbye to Ross and leaves as Gunther comes up and pours some coffee, muttering "What does Rachel see in this loser". _

_Rachel, Chandler, and Ben are walking in Coney Island as Chandler looks sick and says he needs to sit down for a few minutes. "I told you not to eat all the food, before riding the rides". Chandler says he'll be ok, and just needs to rest for a few minutes. Phoebe turns to Ben and asks if he wanted to ride again. Ben nods and they head back in line for the roller coaster. Rachel said that she would sit this one out, as well._

_An attractive woman approaches and says "Excuse me". Chandler, in a daze replied "You don't need an excuse". Rachel rolled her eyes at such a lame and pathetic pick-up line. "Are you Chandler Bing", she asked? Chandler whispered to Rachel, "She knows my name. God has finally answered my prayers". She says that she found Chandler's wallet and hands it to him saying "I think everything is there. You can check it, if you need to"._

_Chandler takes the wallet and thanks her. She walks away and Chandler sighs and buries his head in his hands. "What's wrong", Rachel said, "That was nice of her to track you down and give your wallet back" Chandler just sighed and said "I was stupid to think she wanted me". Rachel turned to him and said "Honey, don't do this to yourself. There is somebody out there for everybody". Chandler asked if she really thought that, and Rachel "I really do, and you will know her when you see her"._

_A familiar laugh is heard, and Chandler looks up to the sky and says "God, what have I done to deserve this fate". Janice approaches and says "Hell-O, Chandler Bing". Chandler turns to Rachel and says "Kill me now". Janice says hello to Rachel and then turns to Chandler and says "Small world" and Chandler says "Yet I never seem to run into Cindy Crawford". Janice laughs and Chandler sighs and says "Ahh... the sweet song of hell" "So, why do you think our paths keep crossing", Janice said and Chandler replied that he was being punished for sins he committed in a previous life. _

_Monica was at the restaurant, busily preparing a salad and talking with one of the other chefs. "So, who was it", Monica asked as her friend said "I don't kiss and tell". Monica set down the salad and said in her trademark high-pitched voice "Yes you do". She sighed and said "It was with John". Monica looked stunned and said "Isn't he married"? She nodded and said "So don't tell his wife, because she might get mad"_

_Monica gets back to preparing the salad and the other chef said "What about you? Are you seeing anybody"? Monica said that she wasn't seeing anybody at the moment and her friend said she and Chandler would make a cute couple. Monica laughed so hard, she snorted water thru her nose "Please, can we BE more wrong for each other? Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and a good friend and I do have feelings for him... OH MY GOD"!_

_Chandler and Rachel are still at Coney Island, sitting on a park bench as Phoebe and Ben go back and ride the roller coaster for the billionth time. "Was I stupid for ending things with Janice", Chandler asked and Rachel said "That's the queasiness talking, right"? Chandler said he was serious and even though Janice annoys him to know end, he knew that she loved him, and that he loved her._

_Rachel was impressed with how much Chandler had grown and matured and Chandler said "What if you only get one shot at this, ya know? I mean I see you and Ross and wish that could be me". Rachel nodded and said "Maybe it can be. You should go and talk with her". Chandler agrees and goes to find her and Rachel is trying to comprehend how mature Chandler was, right then. A few minutes passed and Phoebe and Ben return._

_"Where'd Chandler go", Phoebe asks as she looks around. Rachel gives Ben some money and tells him to go and play some video games, as Phoebe sits down. Rachel said that Chandler went to patch things up with Janice. Phoebe laughed and told her to be serious and Rachel said she was and Chandler really did go and try to get him and Janice back together. "What about Monica"? Phoebe said. Rachel asked what she was talking about._

_"I'm going to get some ice cream", Phoebe said as she stood to leave, but Rachel grabbed her hand, forcing her to sit back down, and wanted to know what she meant, when Phoebe said What about Monica. "Ok, but she made me promise not to tell anybody, but she has feelings for Chandler". Rachel released her grip from Phoebe's hand and silently mouthed "Oh My God". She asked Phoebe if she was sure she heard Monica correctly and Phoebe nodded saying Monica was crazy about Chandler, but her pride would never let her admit it, out loud._

**Ending Credits**

_Rachel and Monica are sitting on the sofa at Central Perk and Rachel turns to Monica and says "You need to know something, Mon". Monica asked what she was talking about and Rachel said "I'm telling you this now, to prepare you". Monica said "What the hell are you babbling about"? Rachel said "Sweetie, I know you have feelings for Chandler". Monica laughed and said she was hanging out with Joey too long._

_"Honey, I know", Rachel insisted. "I'm going to kill Phoebe", Monica angrily said. Rachel said there was more and told Monica that Chandler ran into Janice while they were at the park. Just then, Janice and Chandler enter Central Perk, kissing. Monica started to tear as Rachel handed her a tissue. _

_Rachel asked if she wanted her to talk to Chandler, but Monica just shook her head and said "No. Look how happy he is". Rachel replied that Chandler needed to know and Monica said "No. I had my chance to tell him, but I didn't and now it's too late. The greatest guy in the world was right in front of me, and now it's too late"_


	3. TOW After They Kissed

**Tow After They Kissed**

_Monica was in her apartment, sitting on the sofa, and listening to sad songs on the radio when Phoebe enters and starts to cleanse the aura. "The air in here is so negative", she exclaimed as she continued to cleanse the air. Phoebe turns off the radio and tries to snap Monica out of it. "You don't understand", Monica lamented, "It's too late. I had my chance, now it's too late. If only I could build a time machine and go back and tell Chandler how I felt"_

_"What if you built a time machine", Phoebe excitedly asks. "What are you talking about", Monica said and she got up. "You could totally build a time machine", Phoebe said, "I saw a show where this scientist turned a sports car into a time machine. You could totally do that". Monica asked if Phoebe was talking about Back to the Future and she smiled and says "You've seen it too"?_

_"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Pheebs. But I'm just not in the mood right now", Monica said and she got a drink of water and sat back down on the sofa, with a sad sigh. "You know what could make you feel better", Phoebe asked, "You could sleep with Joey". Monica said that would not make her feel better, and Joey was passing by and said "Oh yes it would"_

**Opening Credits**

_Ross and Rachel were at their apartment packing Ben's bag, as Susan and Carol were on their way to pick him up. "It was great having Ben, but every time he leaves, it kills me", Ross sighed as he folded Ben's socks and stuffed them inside his bag. "I know sweetie", Rachel said as she hugged him. There was a knock on the door as Rachel invited Susan and Carol inside and went to tell Ben they were there._

_"How was Seattle", Ross asked as he handed Susan Ben's bag. "It was great. We went to the Space Needle and also caught a train to Vancouver for the day, where we also met a really nice person named Paula". Ross smirked and said "One woman not enough for you"? Ben charges into the room and hugs Carol and Susan, before they say goodbye and leave. "You ok, honey", Rachel said as she kissed Ross. Ross nodded, saying he will be fine._

_Joey is having a sandwich at the counter and shudders as he hears Janice laughing in Chandler's room. "Nah, it couldn't be", Joey told himself, "Not even Chandler is that desperate". Chandler and Janice come out of the bedroom and Joey looks like he's just seen a demon. Janice kisses Chandler before she leaves and Chandler said "I know what you're thinking Joe" Joey frowned and said "Then why aren't you getting your shots"?_

_"It's going to work this time", Chandler insisted. Joey covered his ears, telling Chandler to stop scaring him, like that. "This may be my only chance to have somebody", Chandler said, as Joey covered his ears, and ran out screaming. Monica was returning to her apartment and Chandler could see that her eyes were red and face was puffy, like she had been crying. "Mon, are you ok"?, Chandler asked as he approached her._

_Monica turned around, not wanting him to see her cry and just nodded. "Are you crying", Chandler asked as Monica, in a rather shaky voice, said she just had real bad allergies. Joey returned and said to Monica "Do you know this freak is seeing Janice"? Monica ran inside her apartment and slammed the door shut. Joey nodded as he pointed to the door and told Chandler "That's how normal people react to Janice". Chandler just rolls his eyes and goes back to his apartment._

_Monica threw her purse on the floor and just sat on the sofa, mumbling about life being unfair, when Phoebe came out of her bedroom. She felt bad for her friend and roommate and handed Monica her jacket and said "That does it. C'mon we're going for a girls night out". Monica shook her head and said she just wanted to be by herself and Phoebe said that she really needed to get out of the house for a while, and get her mind on other things._

_It was a few hours later and Monica and Phoebe were having some drinks at a local club, and Phoebe asked Monica if she was feeling better, but Monica just shrugged and said she would feel better after another beer. Phoebe got a beer, but asked her not to over-do it and a few minutes later a familiar face approaches the girls. "Oh my God", Monica exclaimed as she hugged Fun Bobby. "Too of my favorite things are here. My favorite girl, and my favorite beer", Fun Bobby said as he ordered a beer as he and Monica caught up on old time._

_"Excuse us, Fun Bobby", Phoebe said as she and Monica went to a table to talk. "What", Monica said defensively, "You're the one who said I needed to get my mind off Chandler, and Fun Bobby is just the guy to do that". Phoebe said that Fun Bobby was just a rebound and she was using him to mask her feelings for Chandler. "What Fun Bobby and I had was deep and meaningful". _

_"The deepest you've ever been, is discussing light beer VS regular beer", Phoebe said, "And speaking of beer, when was the last time you saw him without a drink"? Monica replied "Can I help it if we went to places where beer was available"? Phoebe pointed out that Fun Bobby even took beer to church, and Monica rolled her eyes and said it was Holy Water. "Then why was it inside a Coors bottle", Phoebe snapped._

_Fun Bobby approached and said "Mind if I join my 2 favorite ladies", as he pulled up and chair and ordered another beer and Phoebe said "See"? Monica rolled her eyes and told Fun Bobby not to pay any attention to her. "I haven't seen you since last July 4th", Bobby said as he kissed Monica, while Phoebe looked on in disapproval. "Pheebs, if you can't be happy for me, then just leave us alone". Phoebe sighed as she got her jacket and left. "What's with her", Fun Bobby asked. Monica smiled and said "She has a hard time seeing me happy, for some reason"._

_It was the next day at Central Perk and Phoebe was drinking her coffee reading a book, as Chandler and Janice entered, talking and laughing. Monica comes to Central Perk, sees them kiss and tries to leave, but Chandler sees her and goes after her and catches up with her and said "You've been acting moody all week long, and you've been avoiding me", Chandler said. Monica told Chandler to just leave her alone and tried to leave, but Chandler blocked her path._

_"No, you're obviously upset about something, and it's obvious that it's something that I did. I want to know what's wrong, and I want to know now", Chandler said. Phoebe came and interfered and let Monica leave and as they walked back to Central Perk, Chandler asked what that was all about. "She just needs some space right now, to sort some things out", Phoebe informed. Chandler joins Janice on the sofa as they drink coffee and kiss._

_"Guys", Phoebe said, "Do me a favor and keep it low-key around Monica". Chandler asked what was wrong with Monica as of late, and Phoebe said she was feeling left out, because Ross had Rachel and Chandler had Janice, but Monica does not have anybody". Chandler felt guilty and said "So that's what's wrong and here I was kissing Janice and flaunting our love, right in front of her"_

_"Oh, sweetie it's not your fault", Phoebe consoled, "She'll be back to old annoying self in no time flat". Janice smiled and said "I have a great idea. There's this cute and single guy at the office. He'll be perfect for Monica". Chandler said that was a great idea and Phoebe could only respond with "Uhhhhh". Janice said she would call her friend right now and try to set them up, and Phoebe once again could only say "Uhhh", as she could not quite get the words out._

_"Isn't this great", Chandler said to Phoebe who replied "Uhhhhh". Chandler laughed and said "What's wrong, Pheebs? Cat got your tongue"? Phoebe stood up and shouted "MY GOD, YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT" and stormed off, as Chandler sat there, wondering what he said._

_Joey was watching Star Wars on TV as Chandler entered. Joey tried to use The Force to bring a bottle of beer and after a few seconds, Chandler tossed the beer to Joey. He opened the beer and said "Thanks. I just didn't feel like getting up". Joey looked around and said "Where's the Wicked Witch of The North East at"? "Ok", Chandler said, "Don't say anything, but Monica was feeling a bit depressed over not having anybody, so Janice is trying to fix her up". Joey took a sip of beer and said "So you got her on the path to the Dark Side too, huh"?_

_Rachel was watching TV when Monica stumbled in drunk, followed by Fun Bobby. "Hey Fun Bobby", Rachel greeted as they said hello. "Drunk Fun Bobby", Monica said and she stumbled, trying to reach for the sofa. "Easy does it, lushy", Rachel joked as she help Monica to the sofa. Fun Bobby said he had to run, and left and Rachel turned to Monica and said "No offense, but you smell like a brewery._

_Phoebe entered, seeing Monica drunk and told Rachel about everything that happened. "Honey", Rachel said, "This is not the way to handle this". About 10 minutes later, Joey bursts in, panic stricken and said "Call 9-1-1". Rachel asked what happened and Joey, who was out of breath said "Chandler... hit by car... not moving". Everybody stood there, stunned and shocked and Joey yelled "Call now, dammit"._

**Ending Credits**

_The gang rushes to the streets as paramedics place an unconscious Chandler into a gurney and hoist him into an ambulance, as Joey quickly gets in the back with Chandler as the ambulance speeds away . Phoebe hugs and tries to comfort Monica, who is in tears and sees Fun Bobby in handcuffs, the result of driving drunk. He cannot bring himself to make eye contact with Monica and says "I'm sorry". _

_Monica glared and said "I don't want to hear it". They all get into Phoebe's taxi and follow the ambulance._


	4. TOW Chandler Finds Out

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW Chandler Finds Out**

_Phoebe pulls up to the hospital as everybody gets out, and gather around the nurses' station, trying to get updates on Chandler. "I can't believe Chandler is in this awful place. I can't believe all of this is happening", Monica said as they made their way to the waiting room. Phoebe nodded in agreement and said "And you never know what you have, until it's gone". Joey said that he knew exactly what they were talking about._

_"I didn't know you were capable of understanding something so deep and profound" Monica replied. Ross said they should lay off and said that even Joey was capable of understanding that. "It's true. You really don't know what you have until it's gone". Everybody nods and agrees and Joey goes on to say "Just like the other day, I was at the Sandwich Shop and ordered an extra long meatball sub, and I had to leave to go to the bathroom, and when I came back it was gone". Everybody gives Joey strange looks and he said "I didn't even get to taste it. Why God. Why!"_

**Opening Credits**

_The gang was still waiting for any news on Chandler, nervously pacing around. Phoebe started to sing Smelly Cat when Janice ran into the waiting room. "What happened? Where's my Bing-a-ling", she hysterically asked. Rachel informed Janice that the doctor was with him. "Do you believe in Heaven", Joey asked Phoebe who nodded and Joey asked Phoebe what she thought it would be like. Phoebe thought for a second, and said it would be a place where everybody could have their own version of Paradise._

_"The beach with a bottle of beer in one hand, and Carmen Electra in the other. That's my paradise", Joey said with a smile on his face, "I wonder what Hell is like". Monica replied, "I take it you have never been to one of Ross' lectures". Ross chuckled and Monica said that since Chandler was not there, somebody had to pick up the slacks with the jokes and sarcasm. Janice went back to the nurse station to get some information_

_The doctor came out and everybody rushed around him, firing questions simultaneously. The doctor said Chandler was resting and was pretty banged up and broke his leg. He went on to say that Chandler was sleeping and was pretty doped up on painkillers, but for the most part, he appeared to be out of the woods. But the doctor said he wanted to keep Chandler for a few more days, just to be on the safe side._

_Rachel asked if they could see him, but the doctor informed that visiting hours were over, but they could come back in the morning and the doctor would call, should Chandler's condition should change. Everybody thanked the doctor, and he went back to the nurses station. "I feel so much better knowing he will be ok", Monica said as she sighed as she sat down on a bench. Rachel asked about Fun Bobby and Monica said that she could care less about him._

_Ross said it was late and everybody was exhausted, and they should all get some sleep and come back in the morning. Phoebe said that was a good idea, but Monica said she was going to stay. "Sweetie", Rachel said, sitting next to Monica. "There's nothing that we can do. It's not going to help Chandler if you don't get any sleep. We'll come back first thing in the morning". Monica said she was going to stay and Rachel said that she would stay, as well._

_"No, please go and get some rest. I'll call you if anything happens". Rachel said that Monica should have some company, and Monica said that she would be fine, and really just wanted to be by herself. Rachel and Monica hug as Joey smiles in approval. "My my my", Joey said. Ross informed Joey that was his sister and Joey winks at Rachel, and Ross glares and informs Joey that was his girlfriend. Everybody says goodbye and they head out, and Monica sits down in the waiting room as Janice approaches._

_"Where'd everybody else go", Janice asked and Monica told her they all went back home. "Janice we need to talk", Monica says as she tries to look for the words, and Janice said "You love Chandler, don't you"? Monica was taken aback and said "Yes...Yes I do". Janice smiled and said she could tell, and also said she could tell that Chandler loved her, too. "Really"? Monica said with a smile, and Janice said "Oh, of course he does. You should just see the way he lights up when somebody mentions your name". There was a few seconds of awkward silence and Janice wiped a tear that had rolled down her cheek, looked at Monica and said "You better take good care of him, Monica Geller". _

_Back at Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel was tossing and turning, having a hard time sleeping. "Rach", Ross said nudging her, "Are you ok"? Rachel said she just had a bad dream and Ross asked her about it, but she said she didn't want to talk about it. Ross kissed Rachel and they drifted back to sleep and about half an hour later, Rachel was tossing and turning again and accidentally kicked Ross out of bed._

_"I'm so sorry, honey", Rachel said waking up. Ross climbed back into bed and said "Will you please tell me what's wrong? I don't think I can stand you kicking in your sleep, for another minute". Rachel sighed and said she was dreaming of Chandler getting hit by the car and said they needed to go back to the hospital. "Honey", Ross said, putting his arms around her, "Everything is fine and Chandler will be fine. It was just a bad dream". Rachel drifted back off to sleep, feeling safe in Ross' warm embrace. _

_Monica was dozing, in the waiting room and the doctor asked if she wanted to see Chandler. He said that Chandler was doing good, but he looked banged up. Monica tried to brace herself and she entered the room and looked at Chandler's bruised face and his leg in a cast, hooked up to machines. Monica never felt so helpless and powerless and would give anything for Chandler to be OK. "Look at you, poor baby", she said as she sat down next to him, gently holding his hand._

_"I'm just going to say this before I lose my nerve", Monica said, still holding his hand, "I... I love you, Chandler Bing and I am so sorry that I never told you how I felt until now and I am sorry that it took you getting hurt to make me swallow my pride and tell you". Monica sighed and said "I wish I knew if you could hear me or not". Chandler was lightly stirring and gently squeezed Monica's hand and his eyes flickered open and he said "I heard every single word". Monica smiled as she and Chandler gently hugged._

_It was several hours later and the entire gang was gathered around Chandler's bed. Monica gently kissed Chandler and Joey turned to Rachel and said "If I got hit by a car, would you kiss me"? Rachel said "Sure". Joey turned to leave and Chandler asked where he was going and Joey said he was going to stand in the middle of the street. "Get back here, Joey", Rachel commanded. The doctor entered and said "You were quite lucky, young man"._

_The doctor said he wanted Chandler to take it easy for a while and he rolled his eyes and said he was not the best, when it came to asking for help. "Well, looks like you don't have a choice", Monica said, still smiling. Rachel hugged Chandler saying how happy she was that he was OK, and that she was so happy for both of them. _

**Ending Credits**

_Ross and Rachel were sitting on the sofa at Central Perk, while Phoebe was playing Smelly Cat. Phoebe returned to her seat and Joey said "I wonder if I will ever hook up with somebody". Phoebe smiled and said "Oh, don't worry. We will". Joey looked intrigued and said "Really"? Phoebe nodded and said "Oh definitely. It will be right after I marry Ross and then have him killed for the inheritance". _

_"What", Ross exclaimed and Phoebe said "Oh be serious. You didn't think I was marrying you for the looks, did you"? Monica gently helps Chandler inside Central Perk and guides him to the chair and lays his crutches next to him, before going to the counter for some latte. "Hey, Chandler, Phoebe was going to kill me for the inheritance", Ross exclaimed and Chandler rolled his eyes and said "Back in collage, I would have done it for free"_


	5. TOW The New Job

*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW The New Job**

Chandler is in Central Perk, reading a newspaper, with his leg, resting on a cushion. Gunther walks up and pours some coffee and said "That really sucks, what happened to you". Chandler shrugged and said "Yeah, but it could always be worse". Gunther nods and said "Yeah, you could be related to him", as he points to Ross, who turns and glares at Gunther. Joey enters Central Perk and takes his usual place and asks Chandler how much longer he had to wear the cast, and Chandler said it would be another 6 weeks or so.

"You know what", Joey said with excitement, "we're both in a cast". Chandler stares blankly at Joey, waiting for him to explain that. "Well, you're in a cast and I'm an actor. I'm in a cast, too". Chandler muttered "Except my cast has a purpose". Rachel, Monica and Phoebe enter and Rachel sits next to Ross, snuggling up to him, as close as she can, while Gunther looks on in disgust. "Ohh, I'm Ross", Gunther thought to himself, "Ohh I am doctor. Nevermind that my patients died millions of years ago" Ross walks up to the counter and says "Hey, can I get a decaf"? Gunther glares and says "Don't you already have everything"?

Phoebe gets out her guitar, saying everything Chandler has been thru, inspired her to write a new song. Phoebe signs a song about life, love, and broken legs, but the tune was similar to the tune from Gilligan's Island. After she was finished, she went back to the others and Chandler wasn't quite sure what to say "Uhh..... Thanks for the song, Pheebs". Phoebe smiled, proud of herself and said "You bet". Ross began to hum the tune and said "That sounded familiar"

"Of course it sounds familiar, I just played it", Phoebe said, "For a doctor, you're not very observant". Ross pointed out, that was the tune from Gilligan's Island and Phoebe said it wasn't and Ross started to sign the song, but Phoebe cut him off after the first verse and said "That's not fair. He already has his own Island, why does he get to have my song, too"? Joey said for Phoebe not to pay any attention to Ross and he thought that was one of her best songs yet.

"Thanks Joe", Phoebe said with a smile, "You always did appreciate good music". Chandler rolled his eyes and said "This from the person who thought The Beach Boys were from Ohio". Joey replied that Ohio has a beach and Chandler just sighs and buries his head in his hands.

**Opening Credits**

Ross, Joey, and Phoebe were over at the apartment watching TV, while Chandler was reading a book. "Hey", Phoebe said, "Who wants some home-made ice cream"? Both Ross and Joey said they wanted some and Phoebe said "Ok, we need some rock-salt, milk, sugar..... oh and one of those ice cream machines. Ross, run to the store real fast, ok?". Ross sarcastically said "And I guess you want me to make the ice cream too, right?" Phoebe replied "That'll be great. I'm really tired", and goes over to the sofa and watches TV as Ross leaves with a grunt.

A few minutes ago, Ross darts back into the room and said "Monica is on her way up and says our parents are coming tomorrow. She wants this place spotless and has jobs for each of you. It's too late for me, but run and save yourselves". Phoebe ducks into the bathtub, and crouching in a corner, pulls the shower curtain. Joey runs out the door and Monica says "Not so fast, Tribbiani", as she marches him back inside, as he whines and whimpers.

Monica looks around the apartment and says "Where the hell is Phoebe"? Suddenly there is a sneeze from the bathroom, and Monica walks inside, standing at the foot of the tub and says "Bless you, Phoebe". And Phoebe says "Thank you". Monica pulls back the shower curtain and Phoebe yells "Son of a Bitch". Monica gathers all of them in the kitchen to discuss cleaning details. "Ok people", Monica says, "This is not a drill. Our parents are coming tomorrow and this place is nowhere near Monica's Code of Cleanliness".

Joey whines and says it's not fair that Chandler does not have to help and Monica said to cut Chandler some slack, that he just got out of the hospital. "I wish I could find a car to hit me", Joey said. Chandler looked up from the book he was reading and said "Ok, Joey. I promise the next time Monica has in lock-down for cleaning, I'll hit you with me car". Joey gave the thumbs-up sign and said "You got a deal" The phone started to ring and Monica answered it, and after a few seconds, handed the phone to Ross.

Ross talks in the corner as Monica hands a mop and bucket to Joey and hands rags to Phoebe and go over cleaning details. A few minutes Ross hangs up the phone and sits down at the table, with a dazed look. Monica asks what was wrong. "I'm up for a promotion". Monica hugged her brother and said "That's go great". Rachel came in and Monica nudged Ross and said "What are you waiting for? Tell Rachel the great news"

Rachel set her purse down and went to where Ross was and said "What great news"? Ross said he was offered a position as Head of Paleontology and Rachel exclaimed that she was so proud of him, and everybody offered their congratulations. "There's a catch, though", Ross said. Monica asked what kind of catch and Ross replied that if he wanted the job, he would have to go to Cambridge University. "What's wrong with that", Rachel asked. Ross sighed and said it was over in London.

"London, England", Joey asked and Ross rolled his eyes and said "No, it's in London, Texas". Joey breathed a sigh of relief and said "Thank God it's still America because for a moment, I thought you meant London, England". Rachel sat down, stunned and shocked and said "London"? Ross nodded and Rachel said "London, England?" Joey shook his head and said "No, Ross said it was London, Texas". Everybody stares at Joey and he said "What? He DID say Texas". Rachel turned to Ross and asked what he told them. Ross does not answer for a few seconds, then replied he told them yes.

"You told them YES?" Rachel shouted, obviously upset. "I know, Rachel", Ross said as he tried to calm her down. Rachel said Ross had no right to make that kind of decision without discussing it with her first. "There are TWO PEOPLE in this relationship, Ross and I deserve some kind of input on a decision this huge". Rachel hands Ross the phone and said "You're going to call them back and tell them you changed your mind"

Ross said he could not change his mind and Rachel argued that he could. It's easy, see "I'm happy for you..... no wait, this sucks. See how easy that is", Rachel said she she thrusted the phone back into his hands. "Rachel, this has been my dream ever since I saw my first dinosaur", Ross softly said. "You saw a dinosaur? Man you must be over 1 million years old", Phoebe said. "Pheebs, why don't you go and read or watch TV", Monica said.

"Look", Rachel said as she sat down next to Ross, "I know this is your dream, but you have to understand that I have a dream too. And that dream includes you". Ross replied what she would do if she was in his shoes "What would you do, if Ralph Lauren wanted to promote you to Head Designer, but it meant moving to Rome. Would you honestly say you would not do it"? Rachel said this was different and Ross said it was exactly the same.

"It's different", Rachel said. "How exactly is this different", Ross questioned and Rachel got defensive and yelled "IT JUST IS". Ross nodded and said "You didn't answer my question, Rach. Are you saying you would just abandon your dream, just like that"? Rachel softly said she would not and Ross nodded and said that he could not abandon his dream, either. Everybody in the room looks sad and Monica said "So, you're really doing this"?

Ross nodded, saying he had to, saying he had to be true to what he dreamt of. Monica said she was happy for him and Rachel hugged him and said "I love you so much". Ross said he loved Rachel too and as they were hugging, Rachel asked "So, where exactly does this leave us"? Ross replied they had to hope and pray their love was strong enough. "And I do", Rachel said as they continued to hug and hold each other.

"Why, God, Why", Joey cries out and Ross says "Hey, it's not like you guys will never see me again. The budget does allow me to fly back every few months, and I'll be here for holidays". Rachel said it still wouldn't be the same. "How long before you have to leave", Chandler asked. Ross replied that he would be leaving in about a month. "Only a month?", Rachel said, trying to fight back the tears. Rachel hugs Ross saying that she is happy for him. Ross thanked her, and left, saying Donald had some papers for him to sign.

Ross drove to the office, wondering if he made the right choice. He knew this was a big boost for his career, but was it worth leaving everything behind? But then again, he knew than another opportunity like this does not come along every day. He arrived and made his way to Donald's office and Donald asked him to sit down. Donald asked Ross if he was sure about this, and Ross nodded and Donald handed him some transition papers, which Ross signed. "Looks like it's official", Donald said as he offered his congratulations.

Back at Monica and Phoebe's apartment, everybody was still in shock and Monica said "I think I'm even too depressed to clean". Joey looked relieved until Monica said, "Which means that you bozos will have to pick up the slack. MOVE MOVE MOVE". Joey pointed to Rachel, who was sitting on the sofa crying and said "That's not fair, how come she's not helping". Monica hit Joey across the head with a pillow as Ross came back.

"How'd it go", Monica asked as Ross nodded, saying everything was final. Rachel suggested that she and Ross go out, saying they only had a month before he had to leave, and wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. As they leave Monica said "What are you waiting for? Joey get busy mopping and Pheebs, get busy dusting". Phoebe asked what Monica was going to do and Monica informed she was going to do the most important job of all. "What's that", Joey said and Monica informed that she was going to supervise.

**Ending Credits**

It was the next day at Central Perk, as Rachel, Joey, and Monica were at their usual places and Joey said "I can't believe Ross is going all the way to London", Joey pauses for a few seconds, in deep thought, "England" Monica said it won't be the same without him and Joey cried out "Why, God, Why". Rachel tries to console Joey and said "It's going to be ok. We're all going to miss him". Joey shook his head and said "No, it's not that. He still owes me $500"


	6. TOW The Passport

**TOW The Passport**

Chandler is going over a stack of bills, while Joey is drinking a beer, and playing video games. "Uh, Joey", Chandler says while waving a piece of paper in the air, "we need to talk". Joey sets down the beer and goes over to the counter, where Chandler was sitting and said "''sup, dude"? Chandler informs Joey that he has been going over the bills and says, "We're $100 short for rent this month. We really need to start cutting back on a few things.

"Such as", Joey asks and Chandler said "Well for starters, if we didn't eat pizza and beer every single night, that alone would save us $50 a month". Joey looks like he's about to have a heart attack and says "No pizza and beer? Why not just ask me to stop breathing" Chandler said they could have it, just not as often as they would like to, and said they should try and buy some generic beer. "Whoa whoa whoa", Joey said, "Beer is MY area and we don't skimp out on beer. We Tribbianis only know 2 things and they are pizza and beer. Now we may cheat on our taxes, and we may cheat on our wives, but we NEVER cheat on our beer.

Chandler said the cable bill was huge and said "Joey, look at all the porn you ordered this month". Joey takes the paper from his hand and glances over it, hands it back to Chandler and says "It doesn't look too bad". Chandler replied "That's just page 1 of 5, Joe" Joey's eyes grow wide as Chandler nods and says "Now you can see we need to cut back on a few luxuries". Chandler protested saying "Baywatch Babes Gone Wild" is on TV

"Ok, I guess we can start cutting back tomorrow". Joey turned to leave and Chandler asked where he was going. "Beer run", Joey said, "If we're cutting back tomorrow, I'm gonna stock up today. Chandler nodded and said "Good call"

**Opening Credits**

Monica is at Central Perk, thumbing thru a magazine and Rachel is heading towards the counter. "Hey can I get a cappuccino", she asked Gunther, who was working behind the counter. He handed her the drink and Rachel said "Well in a few weeks you won't see Ross around any more". Gunther tried to contain his excitement and said "Really? That's too bad" Rachel said he was going to England and would be gone for months at a time.

"Well", Gunther said, "If you ever need somebody to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, I'm always available". Rachel thanked him and said he was so sweet. Gunther blushed and said "Oh, stop it". Rachel smiled and said "One of these days you'll make some lucky guy very happy". She goes back to her chair, drinking her cappuccino. Ross and Joey enter a few minutes later, and Ross said "I can't believe I am actually hearing this... so you think Dino could kick Barney's ass"

"Monica, who do you think would win in a fight between Barney and Dino", Joey asked. Monica smirked and replied that she had no idea, because she was not a geek. Gunther approaches Ross and says "So I hear your off to Jolly Old England"? Ross nodded, telling him about the new job. Gunther asked when Ross was supposed to leave, and he said he would be leaving in a few weeks. "Need any help packing", Gunther asked, trying to suppress the smile on his face.

"Thanks, I'm good" Ross replied. Monica said that she still couldn't believe Ross was leaving for halfway around the world and Joey cried out "Why, God Why"? Ross said "C'mon guys, do you think this is easy for me? This is the hardest thing that I have had to do. Every time I think about what I have to leave behind, it makes me sick". Ross pulls out a bottle of Peptmo Bismol and takes a drink, right from the bottle. Rachel said "I'm sorry Ross, but you have to admit the whole thing caught us off guard. And to leave in only a few weeks"?

Ross sat down and said "I'm sorry, but I just found out. It's not like I've known all this time, and decided to spring this, at the very last second". Rachel got excited and said "I got a great idea! I could come with you"! Both Ross and Gunther in unison said "What"? Rachel said she could go with Ross, as there was a lot she could learn about fashion in London. "Sweetie", Ross said, "I can't ask you to come. You're life is here in New York"

"You're not asking me", Rachel said, "I'm asking you. Let me come with you". Ross kissed Rachel and said "I love you, but you're life... you're world is here. Besides, somebody need to keep an eye on Joey". Joey looked insulted and said "HEY". All eyes are on Joey and in a whiney voice says "Yeah, ok". Monica started to cry and said "It's hard enough watching my brother leave. I don't want to see my best friend leave, too. Rachel tried to comfort Monica, but found herself crying as well, as they hugged each other.

Joey pretended to cry and said "Hey, I', broken up too. Where's my hug at"? Rachel and Monica hug Joey and he smiles and says "Niiiiiiice". Ross said he was going to get some coffee and a muffin, then see if his passport arrived. As he stepped away from the group, and walked up to the counter, Joey had his "evil look" as he quickly gulped down his coffee, before leaving. "So", Gunther asked Ross, "Are you finished packing"? Ross nodded and Gunther asked if he needed a ride to the airport, but Ross said that was already taken care of.

Ross gets his coffee and muffin, kisses Rachel before leaving. "I still can't believe this is happening", Monica lamented. Rachel nodded in agreement and said "I know. I just miss him so much already. If it's this hard now, how much harder will it be, when I have to watch him get on that plane?

Joey is at Ross' mailbox using the key Ross gave him for emergencies, to open the mailbox. Joey made sure nobody was around and started rummaging thru the mail, thinking to himself "Bill... bill... bill... bill... Dino Monthly? What a geek. Bill...bill...a-ha, Passport. Ross can't very well go to London without this baby". Joey quickly tucks the passport into his jacket, once again making sure nobody was around, before walking away.

About half an hour pass and Ross is at his mailbox, going thru his mail. "Where the hell's my passport... COOL my Dino Monthly magazine".

It was later that evening at Ross and Rachel's apartment and Ross is tearing the place up, looking for his passport as Rachel comes in. "Rach, have you seen my passport", Ross asked but Rachel just shook her head. "It was supposed to come today", Ross said as he continued to look. There was a knock on the door and Joey enters, saying "I've got 2 tickets to the Knicks game, and I'm taking you buddy. Ross replied 'Thanks for the offer, but I'm trying to find my passport and Rachel and I have reservations at Michelangelo's this evening. Why not see if Chandler wants to go. Joey replied that Chandler and Monica already had plans.

"Joe", Ross said, "You haven't seen my passport, have you"? Joey is unable to make eye contact and mutters that he didn't. "Joey, do you have it", Rachel asked, telling him to look her in the eye. Once again, Joey is unable to make eye contact and Rachel said for him to give it to Ross. "I don't wanna", Joey whined. Rachel sternly commanded Joey to hand it to Ross and Joey said that he didn't want his best friend to leave.

Ross started to tear up, and left saying he had something to do. "He has to go, Joey", Rachel said softly, "This is his big break. This is like you going to Hollywood to work with a big name studio. This is Ross' big-name studio, and if the tables were turned I know he'd want you to go". Joey grunted and threw the passport on the table. Rachel hugged Joey and thanked him and told him it would be ok. "No it won't be OK", Joey sighed

"Yes it will, Joe" Rachel said, "And this is hard enough on Ross as it is and he doesn't need us to make it any harder. Rachel look at a photo of her and Ross on the mantle and broke down crying as Joey held her and she said "You're right, Joey. Who am I kidding. None of this is ok". Joey asked if they should talk to Ross, saying that he knew Ross would stay if he knew how they really felt. "No", Rachel said, "This will be really good for Ross. He has been there for us and supported each of us, and now it's our turn. I want you to swear on your stack of porn that you won't tell Ross". Joey relented, and Rachel took his thumb and bent it and Joey finally agreed.

It was a few hours later, and Joey had already left and Ross came back. Rachel asked if he was OK, and Ross said that he'd been better, but will be ok. He saw the Passport on the table and told Rachel to tell Joey thanks for giving it back. They grabbed their jackets and left the apartment


	7. TOW All The Goodbyes Part 1

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW All The Goodbyes **

It was 2am and Rachel was still awake, sitting on the sofa going thru photo albums, with tissues all over the floor. She pauses to take a clean tissue and wipe her eyes and say to herself "I can't believe in 2 more days, you'll be gone". Rachel sees a picture of another woman stashed in the photo album, and she grabbed it from the sleeve and angrily marches into the bedroom, waking up Ross and shouted who the hell is this", as she thrusted the photo in his face.

Ross was still have asleep and mumbled "No, I do not want a subscription to the New York Post". Rachel shook Ross, who was now fully awake. "Who the hell is this". Ross looked at the picture and said he had no idea and Rachel asked why it was in their photo album. There was a knock on the door, and Rachel opened the door to find Joey on the other side, asking them why they were being so loud in the middle of the night.

Rachel apologized for having woken him up, and said she found a picture of another woman in their photo album. Joey glanced at the photo and said "Oh, this one's mine". Rachel asked why it was in their photo album, and Joey said he hid it there, not wanting Jasmine to see it. Joey takes the photo and leaves

**Opening Credits**

Everybody is at Central Perk, looking sad and somber. Gunther on the other hand, is grinning from ear-to-ear at the counter. Monica suggests that they all go out, but Ross said "If it's ok with you, lets just spend our last day here. After all, this is where we all met". Joey said "If you stay, I'll give you my first born". Ross said "Ya know, Joe, as...uh... tempting as that sounds, I think I'm gonna pass". Rachel suggest that Phoebe play something. She gets out her guitar and plays 'Sunrise, Sunset'.

Ross said "Come on you guys, don't look so sad". Monica said they couldn't help it, and seemed like they were losing their best friend. "Why, God, Why", Joey cried out and Ross said "Oh come on, you're not losing me. I'll be back so much, you'll get sick of me". Rachel tried to stay positive, but a tear escaped her eyes, as Ross hugged her, trying to comfort her. "Oh I know where we can go", Joey said and everybody said, in unison "No strip club". Joey sat back and sulked "Fine, if you guys want to have just a boring old evening, that's fine"

It was later on in the evening, and everybody was gathered at Ross and Rachel's apartment, eating pizza and talking. Chandler asked what time Ross' flight left, and he said it was due to depart JFK at 4am. Monica broke down crying and ran out of the apartment, as Chandler went after her. Ross was about to go after her too, but Rachel gently said to just give her some space, right now. Ross nodded and sat back down at the table, sad and depressed. Rachel went over to him and put her arm around him, not wanting to ever let go.

In the hallway, Chandler chases after Monica. "Hey, Mon wait. Wait". He finally caught up with Monica and said "Hey, sweetie, it'll be ok". Monica wiped her eyes and said "I wish everybody would quit saying that. No, it's not ok. Doesn't anybody understand? Ross is moving. He's not moving to another town or even another state. He is moving to London". Chandler nodded and said "I know, and I know how you feel"

"That's something else I wish people would quit saying", Monica said, with an edge of anger in her voice "You DON'T know how I'm feeling. You don't have any brothers or sisters and until you do, and they move away, you will never have any idea as to how I am feeling". Chandler said that while Ross was not his brother in the literal sense, he said that he often felt closer to him, than anybody else". Monica apologized, saying she knew it was hard for Chandler as well.

"Do you feel like going back", Chandler asked and Monica smiled and nodded. They went back to the apartment, and Rachel said "Come here, sweetie", and hugged Monica tightly. She look at Joey, who was trying to be so strong and brave and said "Oh what the hell, come here Joey" as she embraced Monica and Joey and everybody else gathered for a group hug. Ross noticed the late hour and says "Hey, guys it's getting late".

"Do you need a ride to the airport", Chandler asked but Ross shook his head, saying that was already taken care of. Ross suggested they all say their goodbyes now, and not look back. Joey hugs Ross tightly and it takes both Rachel and Phoebe to peel him off. One by one, everybody hugs Ross, and offering him their best wishes. After everybody leaves, Ross and Rachel stay up for a few more hours, just talking.

"I want you to know that I am happy for you, but at the same time, wish you didn't have to go". Ross nodded, and said he understood. They go to bed and it seemed like Ross had just fallen asleep, when a taxi was honking his horn. Ross tried to be as quiet as he could, not wanting to disturb Rachel, and took one last look at the apartment, sighed and left. Rachel woke up, just in time to see the taxi drive off, and she spent all this time, trying to be strong, but now the tears came.

"Where too, Boss", the taxi driver said, in broken English. Ross said he wanted to stop by Central Perk and then to JFK. The taxi driver pulled up to Central Perk, but it was closed at that hour and was dark inside. Ross spent a few minutes looking inside, thinking about how much time they spent here, and thinking about all the fun and tears they shared together and wondered how different their lives would have been, if it wasn't for Central Perk. He spent a few more minutes lost in his thoughts, before getting back into the taxi, and heading for the airport.

Ross had already checked in, and was at the terminal waiting to board the airplane, when he heard a familiar voice behind him. "There he is", Joey exclaimed as he turned around and saw Phoebe and Monica hold a sign that read 'Good Luck Ross'. "What are you guys doing here", Ross asked. Rachel smiled and sad "You didn't think we'd let you leave without a proper send off, did you"? Ross thanked everybody for coming as they all hugged

_Trees swayin' in the summer breeze  
Showin' off their silver leaves  
As we walked by_

_Soft kisses on a summer's day  
Laughing all our cares away  
Just you and I_

Chandler hugged Ross, telling him to have a good flight and wished him luck

_Sweet sleepy warmth of summer nights  
Gazing at the distant lights  
In the starry sky_

Monica hugged Ross, saying how proud she was of him

_They say that all good things must end someday  
Autumn leaves must fall  
But don't you know that it hurts me so  
To say goodbye to you  
Wish you didn't have to go  
No, no, no, no_

Phoebe hugged Ross, saying she will actually miss hearing his stories

_And when the rain  
Beats against my window pane  
I'll think of summer days again  
And dream of you_

_They say that all good things must end someday  
Autumn leaves must fall  
But don't you know that it hurts me so  
To say goodbye to you  
Wish you didn't have to go  
No, no, no, no_

Joey hugged Ross, telling him to come back and visit often

_And when the rain  
Beats against my window pane  
I'll think of summer days again  
And dream of you  
And dream of you_

Rachel hugged Ross tightly and said "I love you so very much, and wish this moment would never end. I never want to be apart from you. Not ever". The tears were beginning to form in Ross' own eyes as the gate agent said "Flight 100 to London Gatwick is now boarding". Ross looked at his friends, the tears quite visible as they were running down his face and he said "I guess that's me". Monica told him to call her the very second he landed ad Ross said that he would

"Ross", Rachel called out, as Ross turned around a cargo van came zooming by, and when it passed, Ross was gone. Rachel said softly, to herself "I love you". Everybody gathers at the window and watch the flight take off and Ross begins a new chapter of his life. As they sadly leave the window, Rachel makes her way over to the ticket counter and says "When does the next flight to London leave". The agent replied that the next flight was due to depart in 2 more hours. Rachel gave her a credit card, saying she wanted a one-way ticket.

"What the hell are you doing", Monica asked and they made their way to where Rachel is. "Guys this is too hard. I love each of you, but this is something I have to do. Ross is leaving to follow his dream and I want to be with him, even if that means going all the way to London"


	8. TOW All The Goodbyes Part 2

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW All The Goodbyes (Part 2)**

Everybody is gathered around Rachel, still shocked and not quite believing what had just happened. "Rach", Monica said shaking, not wanting to believe her best friend was leaving, too. "I love you guys so very much, but this is something I need to do", Rachel said with a sigh. Joey refused to make eye contact and Rachel went over to him and said "Joey, are you ok"? She tried to give Joey a hug, but he backed away and said "My hugs are for people who are staying in America"

"Don't worry, we understand, Chandler said. Joey looked at him and said "We do", as Chandler slaps him across the head. Rachel turns to Joey and says "I'm going to miss you. too". Phoebe hugs Rachel, saying "I hope you and Ross will be very happy... even though I am not". Rachel said that she didn't even pack. Joey looked happy and said "Then you gotta stay". Monica told her not to worry, because they will pack and send it over to her in London. Joey looked at her and said "We will", as Monica slaps him across the head

**Opening Credits **

Rachel said there was a cafe and they should all have one more cup of coffee together, for old times' sake. Meanwhile, Ross is in the airplane, trying to look at the outline of New York City, which is quickly disappearing on the horizon. He can't help but feel bad, knowing how upset everybody was that he was leaving. This was the best thing to happen to him, and he new that he may never get another chance like this again. He had to be true to his dream

Back at the Cafe, the gang was enjoying some coffee and Chandler asked how Rachel was going to track Ross down and she said the University would know how to reach him. "I'm sorry Rach", Joey said, "I just don't want to have to say goodbye to you, either". Rachel smiled and said "Then let's not say goodbye. Let's say until next time. Because this is never goodbye. I may be moving away, but we'll never move apart".

"You and me go way back", Rachel told Joey, "And we have a special bond that can/t ever be broken". She smiled and said "And I just know one day you're name is going to be in bright lights and years from now some kid is going to run to his dad and say "I got the part! I get to play Joey Tribbiani". Rachel looks at her watch and says they just have another hour before her flight leaves for London. "This is just so much to sink in", Monica said, "I knew my brother was leaving and that was hard enough, but to have to watch you leave too..."

Rachel goes over and hugs Monica, saying that she will see them again. The gate attendant announces the flight was starting to board. "Ok, guys", Rachel said thru tears, "Don't make this harder than it already is". They all say goodbye and watch thru the tears, as Rachel hands her ticket to the agent and boards the airplane. Monica breaks down sobbing, as Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey do their best to comfort and console her. Monica said that she didn't even want to watch the plane take off, because it was too hard.

They all get into Phoebe's taxi and head away from the airport and Chandler asks if they wanted to stop at Central Perk for some coffee, but Monica said she didn't even want to go there any more, because it reminded her too much of Ross and Rachel. Chandler sighed, wishing there was something he could do for her, but knew this would take some time. "Ok", he said pulling Monica into a hug, "Maybe some other time".

They all head back for their apartment and just sit at the table, not speaking a word. The tension was getting too much for Joey, who made an excuse, saying he had to leave and Phoebe soon followed suit. Monica and Chandler just sat at the table in silence, and Chandler said "I really wish you'd say something, the silence is killing me". Monica looked up and said "I wish my brother and best friend were back and I feel so selfish for wishing that"

Chandler asked why she felt selfish and Monica said because she knew this would be a great experience for them. Monica said that she felt like going to Central Perk after all, and Chandler smiled and said "Ok, let's go". Central Perk was crowded as usual and Gunther was at the counter, busy making coffee. He noticed Monica and Chandler and asked if Ross had left. Chandler nodded and Gunther did a little dance-of-joy.

"Tell Rachel if she ever needs somebody to talk to, I'm always available". Chandler said that Rachel decided to go with Ross and Gunther said "WHAT"? Gunther reaches for his cell phone and calls the airline, to see how much tickets to London are running for. Later on that evening, everybody is gathered at Central Perk, hanging out and talking like they used to. Meanwhile Ross was on the airplane, looking at a picture of the group that was taken two days before. Chandler and Joey were making funny faces, causing Ross to half laugh and half cry.

The Captain came on the speaker, announcing they would be arriving in London within the hour.


	9. TOW All The Goodbyes Part 3

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW All The Goodbyes (part 3)**

A few hours had passed, and Ross was awoken by a flight attendant, asking him to return his chair to the upright position, as they were about to arrive in London in 30 minutes. He put on his headset and listened to Wicked Game by Chris Isaac, and a smile crept across his face as he remembered that song was playing in the planetarium , where he and Rachel had their first date. All of the sudden something seemed to click inside of him. He was going across the world to find his dream, when it was standing in front of him the whole time. Ross stood up, and yelled "Turn the plane around! I've changed my mind. I want to go back to New York"

**Opening Credits**

Back on the airplane, the flight attendant instructed Ross to sit down and said "Please sit down, sir. You're causing a disturbance". Ross said he didn't care and wanted to go back to the woman he loved and the flight attendant repeated her instructions to sit down, adding that he could be arrested for failing to cooperate. Ross pulled out his cell phone to call Rachel, but the flight attendant told him that cell phones were not allowed to be used, while the plane was in motion.

Ross asked the flight attendant to call his apartment and a few minutes later, she returned, saying there was no answer. Ross asked her to cal Central Perk, and the flight attendant called, and came back to Ross saying that she spoke with a man named Gunther who hung up on her when she said Ross was trying to reach Rachel, to tell her he was coming back. Meanwhile, Gunther was at the counter and thinking to himself "Dammit, I knew it was too good to be true"

The plane landed and Ross went thru custom and went right back to the gate to try to get on the next flight back home, but was told they only had First Class seating available, for $2500. Ross handed his credit card, but was told he didn't have enough balance and Ross handed a 2cd credit card, saying to put half the cost on each card. She handed Ross his ticket as he boarded the aircraft and took his seat. never feeling more at peace with his decision.

Rachel's airplane had just landed and she went thru customs and checked into a hotel, as it was getting late and would check with the University in the morning and find out how to track Ross down. Although Rachel felt horrible about leaving her friends, she loved Ross and would go to the corner of the world, if that's where he was. She settled in bed, and turned on the TV and thought about the man she loved and the life they would share together.

It was a little past midnight when there was a knocking on Monica's door and Phoebe answers it and shrieks "Oh Yea" and hugs Ross, kissing him over and over again while Joey was grinning like a Cheshire cat, thinking he just saw a miracle. Ross was able to peel himself off of Phoebe as Chandler approached and Ross pointed and said "Kiss me, and you're a dead man". Ross asked where Rachel was, saying she was not at the apartment and Monica and Phoebe say "Oh My God".

Ross asked what was wrong and Monica explained that Rachel had gone off to London right after he had. Joey said "Not that we're not glad you're back, but what made you change your mind"? Ross said that he realized his dream was right here, in New York. Joey and Chandler give each other a high-5 in celebration, and Ross asks why Rachel went to London and Monica said "Why do you think, stupid"? Joey looked at Ross and said "How will Rachel know where to look for you? I mean she'll look until she finds you, but she won't find you, 'cause your not there". Ross calms Joey down and says "Relax, Joe. I'll just call the University" Ross dials, but said there was no answer.

Joey asks Ross if he wanted him to go and get Rachel in London and Ross said "You wouldn't even to know where to look". Joey frowned and said "London is just like New York City, except it's in another country...right"? Joey looks at Chandler who nods and pats Joey on the back, in a patronizing fashion. "Joe", Ross said, "Remember when you got lost at the mall". Chandler piped in and said "More than once, I might add". Joey conceded and in his whiney voice said "Yeah, ok". Monica asked what Ross was going to do and Ross said there was nothing he could do, and would have to wait for Rachel to call.

Meanwhile back in London, Rachel was still wide awake, not having been able to sleep and was too excited to eat breakfast and just went outside and hailed a taxi and a few hour later, found herself at the steps of Cambridge University. She found her way to the Dean's Office and knocked on the door. "Come in", a voice in a think British accent said, on the other side. Rachel entered and Dean Kipling said "What can I do for you"? Rachel asked how she could reach Ross Gellar and the Dean said Ross did not even come in, and was wondering where he was, himself.

It was about an hour later when the phone rang at Monica's apartment. Monica answered it and Rachel was on the other end, panicky that Ross didn't even show up at the University. "Ok honey, settle down. There is somebody here who can help explain all of this". She handed the phone to Ross who said "Hey, sweetie". Rachel started to laugh at the irony, while Ross apologized. "Don't apologize", Rachel said, "I am actually relieved. I never want to be away from you. Not ever. I am going to catch the first flight out of here"

**Ending Credits**

It was the next evening and everybody is gathered at Central Perk, while Gunther is behind the counter, glaring at Ross. He smiled and said "Hey, Gunther". Gunther sneered and under his breath said "That's what you think". Monica said that was sweet of Rachel to go all the way to London, just to be with Ross. Joey said "Well for what it's worth, I'm glad he changed his mind". Rachel smiled as she kissed Ross and said "So am I".

Monica said for them to never do anything like that again and Joey hugged Ross Rachel, and Ross was a little shocked and said "Uhh... thanks, dude". Rachel said Joey was sad when they were leaving. Joey was trying not to get too emotional and said "You're my best friends, and we have a special bond that can never be broken. Right"? Rachel smiled and said "Right". Ross looked at Joey and said "He cried, didn't he"?


	10. TOW The Flu

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW The Flu**

Everybody is at Monica and Phoebe's apartment enjoying breakfast, while Monica is busy at the stove and says "Ross do you want some more bacon". Ross took a sip of orange juice and said "Yes, please". Monica turned to Joey and asked if he wanted more bacon, and in a stopped-up congested voice, said "sure". Monica then asks Chandler if he wanted some more bacon, and Chandler said that he did. "How about you, Rach", Monica asked her best friend.

"That would be great, thanks Mon", Rachel said. Monica started to cook some bacon and said "It should be ready in a few minutes". Phoebe cleared her voice and said "Hey, what about me"? Monica said "Hey, what about you what"? Phoebe said that she would like to be offered bacon and Ross said that she didn't eat meat and Phoebe replied "Even so, it's nice to be offered". Monica said "Phoebe, do you want any bacon"? Phoebe looked disgusted and said "No! You know I don't eat mean. Ugh"!

**Opening Credits**

The gang was still gathered at the table eating breakfast and in a congested "nasally" voice Joey asked Ross to pass the salt. "You ok, dude", Chandler asked Joey and he nodded, saying he was just a little stopped up, and Chandler said Joey didn't look too good. "Hey", Joey said, "I just got up". Monica said "No, sweetie. You don't look well". Joey said that he couldn't be sick, because he had an audition at noon, and then has a sneezing fit.

"And thank you, for that", Chandler sarcastically said as he moved his cereal away from Joey. Rachel said if Joey is sick, he should be in bed getting rest. Joey tried to assure her that he wasn't sick and has another sneezing fit. "Does anybody want the rest of my breakfast, before Captain Germ here contaminates it further", Chandler said he he took his food over to the sink, to dispose of it. Rachel feels Joey's forehead and said "Honey, you're burning up".

Rachel escorts Joey to the bathroom and sticks a thermometer in his mouth, as Joey was protesting and trying to tell Rachel he looked worse than he felt. Rachel told him to be quiet. "But Rach", Joey said as Rachel interrupted him, telling him to hush. Rachel takes the thermometer and Joey kept saying he was fine and Rachel said "And I guess a 101 temperature is normal"? Joey whined saying this audition was for the role of a lifetime.

"You mean like last week's audition. Or the week before that", Chandler said. Rachel turned to Joey and said "So, what's one more rejection"? Phoebe said she could make one of her grandmother's home remedies and he'll be better in no time. "Great, what's in it", Joey asked and Phoebe said "Just some herbs...radishes... spinach...tomato juice" Joey said "No offense Pheebs, but I think I'll take my chances". Rachel told Joey to go and get back in bed and they'll come by later with soup.

Joey gets back into bed and Rachel leaves. He waits for a few seconds before getting out of bed and Rachel yells from across the hall "Bed... Now". Joey grumbled and reached for the phone and called Estelle, trying to get them to postpone the audition. "What's wrong", Estelle asked, and Joey explained that he was ill and he friends were not letting him leave. "Can't I do it tomorrow", Joey said and Estelle said the director was only in town today, so the audition was today, or not at all.

Joey waits for a few minutes before making sure nobody saw him leave, and went down the stairs. He drives to the audition site and gets on the stage and says "I'm Joey Tribbiani, and I'll be reading for the part of Oscar". The director signals for Joey to go ahead and he has a sneezing fit. The director rolled his eyes and Joey tried to read again, and was interrupted with another sneezing episode. "Thank you, Mr. Tribbiani. We'll be in touch", the director said.

Joey apologized, asking for another chance. The director looked at his watch, sighed and said "Ok, go ahead". Joey was about to read again, when he started sneezing. He looked at the director who was frowning and Joey said "So, you'll be in touch"? Before picking up his bag and leaving. Joey quietly made his way back to his apartment, to find Rachel waiting by the door. "JOEY", Rachel said sternly. Joey said "I know, I know but I had to go to this audition".

A few days had passed and Joey was feeling like his old self and Chandler came home from work and started having a sneezing fit and Joey said "Get away from me dude, I don't want to catch your germs"


	11. TOW The First Date

**TOW The First Date **

Everybody but Joey was at Central Perk, and was at their usual places as Gunther was behind the counter, preparing a fresh pot of coffee. Ross snuggles up to Rachel, while Gunther watches and glares and mutters something about a runaway car hitting Ross. "Hey, there's a foreign film festive at Times Square tonight. Ya wanna go", Ross asked Rachel who said "Sure. I've been having problems sleeping and maybe this will help.

Joey enters, grabs a coffee from Gunther and joins the rest, on the sofa. Chandler turns to Monica and asks, rather bashfully if she had any plans for Friday night. "Hey", Joey interrupted, "Let's go to a Knicks game this Friday". Chandler turns to Joey and says "Is your name Monica"? Joey laughs and said "No, I'm Joey", as he points to Monica and continues "That's Monica". Monica said "No plans that I know of. What's up"?

Chandler stuttered and sputtered "Do you...uhh... think...maybe", Chandler coughs and clears his voice, "We could...if you wanted too...you know..." Monica smiled and said "Are you trying to ask me out"? Chandler smiled and said that depends on what her response is. Monica paused for a few seconds and Chandler nervously picked the lint from his sweater-vest, smiled at Chandler and said "I'd love to". Ross smiled and said "This is so great. My best friend and my baby sister... hooking up" Phoebe said that was great for Chandler, but said Monica could find better.

Rachel asked Phoebe if she was ready and she got out her guitar and made her way over to the stage area. "Ladies and Gentlemen, back by popular demand, Phoebe Buffay". There were some scattered applause from the crowd as Phoebe tuned her guitar and said "Ok my first song is about my favorite flower". The crowd quiets down as Phoebe starts to sing "I am in a field covered with roses. There are roses here, and roses there. There are roses everywhere. Roses are the perfect flower, full of beauty, love, and power. La la la la la la la"

Phoebe finishes her song and heads back to the sofa as Joey asked "Why are roses your favorite flower". Phoebe looks at him and said "What makes you think roses are my favorite flower?"

**Opening Credits**

It was a few days later and Monica, Phoebe and Rachel are at the apartment, talking about the date. "So, where's Romeo taking you", Rachel asked and Monica said Chandler was tight-lipped about the whole thing and wouldn't say. "Maybe he'll take you to the Pizza Hutt", Phoebe said and Monica said she didn't think even Chandler would take somebody there for a first date. "Well, he did have Ross' bachelor party there", Phoebe informed.

"Yeah", Monica agreed, "But he's really grown and matured since then". Chandler comes out of the bathroom and tells Monica to pull his finger. Monica rolled her eyes and said "Or maybe not". "Well", Chandler said, "I gotta run to work. 8 hours of number-crunching awaits. Is this paradise, or what", he said in his typical dry humor before grabbing his jacket and leaving. A few minutes later, Joey enters, limping on his left foot

"What happened to your foot", Phoebe asked. Joey said he didn't know, all he knew is he woke up with his foot stiff and sore. "You don't remember what you may have done", Rachel said as she helped him to the sofa, propping his foot on a pillow. "I don't know what the hell I did. All I know is it hurts like hell", Joey replied. "It may need to be popped back into your joint", Phoebe said as she made her way over and removed Joey's shoe.

"This may hurt for a second", Phoebe warned. Joey scoffed and said "I think I'm man enough to stand a little ankle popping". Phoebe took Joey's ankle and a loud "pop" was heard and Joey emits a high-pitched whimper. "See if you can put any pressure on it", Phoebe said as Joey got off the sofa and began to walk around and says "You're a miracle worker, Phoebe". Phoebe says "Yeah, I know". Joey starts to jump up-and-down, as Phoebe tells him to be careful. Joey continues to jump and then yells in pain. "Are you ok", Monica asked and Joey replied "Yeah, I got too excited and stubbed my toe on the edge of the table".

Ross and Rachel are at their apartment, drinking coffee at the table, making small talk. "By the way, guess who called yesterday", Ross asked. "Who", Rachel asked as she was cleaning the coffee pot. "Melissa", Ross said. "Melissa...as in", Rachel asked and Ross replied that it was Melissa Anderson. "Wow", Rachel said, "I haven't heard from her since high school graduation.. Didn't you guys go out"? "Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I ran into her at the University library today and she wants to go out tonight, for old times sakes", Ross said

"You said no, right", Rachel asked as Ross pretended he didn't hear her. "Ross, you said no. RIGHT", Rachel intoned as Ross said "Huh"? Rachel was furious and said "ROSS" Ross explained that it was just one dinner, to catch up on old times and she had no reason to be jealous. "But why her? Why do you have to go out with her", Rachel said. "Sweetie", her boyfriend said, "That was years ago. Why can't you just let it go. You know when you said we were on a break? I was able to let that go"

Rachel glared and said "Don't try to pin that on me, buster. Anyway, why would you want to go out with a backstabber like Melissa? She was the one who stole Jimmy from me, the day before the big Spring Fling Dance. Why not go with Tammy, instead". Ross chuckled and "You'd actually let me go out with "Loose" Tammy Johnson? You know the last time she used the word "no" is when somebody asked if she ever used the word "no""

"But I don't want you going out with her", Rachel said. Ross informed Rachel that they weren't going out on a date, they were going out as friends, just catching up on old times. "What about you and Mark", Ross said. Rachel said that was different and Ross was jealous for no reason as nothing happened between her and Mark. "Just like us", Ross said, "Just because we're going to dinner does not mean I'm going to sleep with her". Rachel chuckled, ashamed of her petty jealousy and said "If you do, you're a dead man" she joked to Ross.

Monica and Phoebe were at their apartment as Phoebe asked if Chandler mentioned where he was taking her and Monica said that Chandler still would not say, only that it was "someplace special". Phoebe said to order the most expensive thing on the menu. "Phoebe", Monica chuckled and Phoebe said "What? If nothing else, at least you get a free meal out of it".

Joey and Chandler were at their apartment, as Chandler was getting ready for the date and Joey said "Dude, take her to Pizza Hutt We had so much fun there during Ross' bachelor party. Chandler smirked and said "As tempting as that sounds, I'm taking her to Francisco's". Joey's eyes grew wide and said "Wow, that's pretty cha-ching". Chandler said "Yeah, but Monica's worth it. He put on a dab of cologne and headed out.

There was a knock at Phoebe and Monica's apartment and Monica answered it, surprised to find Chandler and invited him inside. "You never knocked before", Monica said and Chandler just said it was their first date, and wanted to make a good impression. "Don't wait up" Chandler joked as he and Monica left the apartment. "I wonder where they're going", Phoebe asked Joey, who said Chandler was taking her to Francisco's. "I told him he should take her to Pizza Hutt". Phoebe got excited and said "That's what I told Chandler too! Great minds think alike".

Monica and Chandler are at a table at Francisco's enjoying pasta and a bottle of wine. "I gotta admit, I'm pretty impressed", Monica said. "Who ever thought we'd be on a date. Especially since that day on the beach when you said I was not boyfriend material". Monica laughed and said "I'll admit, if anybody told me that one day, we'd be going out, I would have thought they were crazy". Chandler noticed the almost-empty bottle of wine and asked Monica if she wanted more. Monica said "That sounds great". Chandler hailed a waiter and said "Bring us a bottle of your most expensive wine". When Monica wasn't looking, Chandler slipped the waiter a $5 and said in a low whisper "Make that a bottle of your cheapest wine"

Ross and Melissa are at another restaurant talking, not knowing that Rachel was watching them from a window, hiding behind a tree. "So what have you been doing all these years", Melissa said. Ross said that he was a professor at the University. "So", Melissa said as she was stroking Ross' hair, "Do you ever think about us? I know I have been. I haven't seen you since Graduation and yet it feels as if we're right back where we left off".

Rachel was peeking from some plants near the table and the Maitre'D approaches, taps her on the shoulder, and in a snooty voice says "May I help you, madam" Rachel tells him to be quiet, as she wants to see what is going to happen. "I can show you to a table, Madam", the Maitre'D said. Rachel said that she wasn't a customer, but wanted to see what her boyfriend was going to do. "My, aren't WE the trusting family", he said as Rachel rolled her eyes and ignored him.

"Madam, if you're not going to order anything, I'm afraid I will have to ask you to leave", he said pointing towards the door. "Fine", Rachel said, "I want a table as close as possible to theirs, but I don't want it to be obvious". He showed her to a table and gave her a menu, but she said she wasn't going to order anything. "Madam", he said in an annoying tone, "This is a restaurant, not a couples therapy session. Either order or leave". Rachel sighed and said, "He's out with that horrible woman". He looked at Rachel and said in a very sarcastic tone said "Madam, I can't begin to understand why. Now will you please kindly place an order". Rachel said she would have a diet coke and the Maitre'D walked away, saying "I should have become a janitor, like my father wanted"

The Maitre'D returns with her soda and says "Dare I ask, will there be anything else, madam" Rachel said no, still watching Ross and Melissa's every move as the Maitre'D returns to his post. Melissa smiled as she stroked Ross face and Rachel thought to herself "Still a tramp, I see" Melissa moves in to kiss Ross as Rachel was about to storm over there, but sees Ross back away. "Listen", Ross said, "I'm with Rachel now". Melissa tried to kiss Ross again, saying "Well she's not here, and what she doesn't know won't kill her. She never has to know".

"NO", Ross said. I'm in a relationship and I love her. That may be a concept you don't understand, but I would never do anything to jeopardize what we have. I've already done that once, and I'll be damned if it will happen again". Melissa asked what Ross could possibly see in her and Ross said in her, he saw everything. "You're going to get sooooooooo lucky", Rachel thought to herself as she got up from the table, turned to leave, knocking the Maitre'D over, spilling a tray of food everywhere. "Madam", the Maitre'D angrily said, "I must insist on your departure from this establishment"

Monica and Chandler were still talking, the table full of empty plates and wine bottles. "No, you didn't", Chandler exclaimed. Monica said "I swear, but if you breathe a word of it, I will hunt you down and tear you limb from limb" Monica tried to stand up, but stumbles. Chandler helps her back to the seat and said "Have one too many did we"? Chandler stumbled too and said "Come to think of it, maybe I had one too many, also"

It was the next morning, as Monica was laying in bed and could feel somebody sleeping next to her and still half-asleep said "Good morning sweetie". She froze when she heard Joey's voice next to her said "Good morning, baby". Both Monica and Joey are now fully awake and Monica is screaming, which is causing Joey to scream. "What the hell are you doing in my room", Monica said. "Your room", Joey said, "Take a look around you. Do you have porn on the dresser? Do you have porn under the bed"? Chandler comes rushing in and then shouted "Hey guys, come see who got lucky last night"

**Ending Credits**

It was later in the afternoon and everybody was at Central Perk. "So, was it good for you", Joey asked, causing everybody else to laugh. "Ha ha ha... DROP IT" Monica angrily said. "Oh come on. I was always hoping you kids would hook up one day", Ross said, causing everybody to laugh harder and Monica said "I swear to God, I will kick your ass". Ross slink to his chair and said "Joey told me to say it" Rachel got back from the counter and asked "So, was it everything you dreamed it would be" as Monica storms off.

**The End**


	12. TOW Phoebe and Joey Go Out

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW Joey and Phoebe Go Out**

The gang is at Central Perk, as Phoebe is finishing a song about Martians. As she was setting her guitar down, a handsome man approaches and said "That was simply amazing". Under his breath Chandler muttered "You must not get out much" as Monica elbowed him in the side. "Yeah, I know. But thanks for say so", Phoebe said with a smile. The man said "I hope I'm not being too forward, but you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen".

"I know", Phoebe replied, "But once again, thanks for saying so". The man asked if Phoebe would like to go out the next evening and Phoebe said that would be great. "So, say, let's meet here at 6pm tomorrow", he suggested. "That sounds great", Phoebe replied before going back over to the sofa. "Whoo Hoo, look at you", Monica smiled. "He's so very cute", Phoebe said as she was glancing at him. "I know", Monica shrieked in a high-pitched tone

Chandler glared at Monica and said "Hi, remember me? I'm your boyfriend". Monica said "Sweetie, look at him". Chandler looked and said "Wow. He's cute". Everybody looks at Chandler funny, and he turns to Joey and said "Joey, Monica does not look fat"

**Opening Credits**

Still at Central Perk. Phoebe and the other guy are in a corner, talking amongst themselves and Chandler says "Hey, can you speak up? I'm having a hard time hearing you". They exchange a kiss as the man leaves and Phoebe returns to the sofa in a dream-like state. "Wow", Monica said. Phoebe giggled and said "His name is Chris and he is so amazing. When he's not volunteering at an animal rescue center, he's in South America with Greenpeace, being chained to a tree". Chandler said "I guess everybody has their kink". Phoebe replied "No, it's not like that. He's doing it to stop the bulldozers. Rachel said it sounds like they have a lot in common. "Yeah", Chandler scoffed, "You're both freaks".

Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are gathered at Monica and Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe is talking on the phone and says "Ok, that sounds great Chris. I'll see you then". Monica asked what they had planned and Phoebe said they were going to trash a research center, and then go to a cafe for veggie burgers. "Wow, isn't that romantic", Rachel says with sarcasm. "I know", Phoebe said with excitement, "He's the guy version of me". Rachel smirked and said under her breath "You mean he also sings crappy songs that nobody understands". Chandler enters wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a few gold necklaces and says "How do I look"? Monica laughed and said "Like a geek who thinks he's cool"

It was a few hours later, at Joey and Chandler's apartment and Joey is talking on the phone as Chandler is flipping thru the TV channels. "1000 channels and not a thing on", he quipped as he set the remote on the table and grabbed a book. Joey hangs up the phone and reaches for a beer and Chandler asked who he was talking to, just then. "That was Stacie. We're going out tonight". Chandler asked "Didn't you go out with her roommate last night"

"Yeah, what's your point", Joey asked. Chandler said Joey was out with a different woman every night. Joey smiled and said "It's a gift... I must my powers for good instead of evil". Joey reaches for the phone and calls Monica and was going to ask her a question, but hears Phoebe crying the the background. Joey asked why Phoebe was crying and Monica said that Chris broke their date. "Why'd he break their date", Joey asked and Monica said "The jerk's wife came home early". Joey said Phoebe deserves better than that, and Monica agreed. In the background Phoebe is crying and said "I'm all dressed up, and no place to go". Joey says "Mon, don't let her leave. I'll be over shortly"

Phoebe was sitting at the table Rachel brings her a cup of hot tea and says how sorry she is. "Men are pigs", Monica angrily said and Chandler looked at her and said "Hey". Rachel turned to Chandler and said "Monica said MEN were pigs" as Chandler slinked to the other sofa. There is a knock on the door as Monica answers it to see Joey, all dressed up and carrying a vase of roses and a box of chocolates and said "Pheebs, you're date is here".

"That's not funny, Joey. Chris broke our date", Phoebe scolded. Joey handed her the candy and roses and said "No. I'm your date". Phoebe smiled and thanked Joey and said "Wow, you didn't even eat the candy". Joey said "That's what I call willpower, thank you very much". Monica took the roses, saying she would place them on Phoebe's dresser. "Did you already have a date tonight", Chandler asked as Joey glared and motioned for him to be quiet.

"I can't believe you", Phoebe said with a smile. "I can't believe you actually broke your own date, just to take me out. Nobody has ever done that for me before". She hugged Joey, giving him a kiss and said "You're so sweet". Joey gives her a light kiss and whispers "Keep it down, I have an image to maintain". Joey said he'll take Phoebe anywhere she wants to go. "Ohh", she exclaims, "Let's rescue some mice from a medical lab". Joey looked nervous at the thought of breaking into a research lab and Phoebe said "Or we can just go to dinner and dancing". Joey smiled and said "You got it"

Ross and Rachel were at their apartment watching TV, when they saw a commercial for a show about the Tyrannosaurs Rex. "Oh, we HAVE to see that". Rachel smirked and said "Why can't you leave work at the office, like everybody else. Let's watch the Fashion awards". Ross said "And you say I can't leave work at the office... let's compromise and watch the Dino Awards". Rachel said it was sweet what Joey did for Phoebe. "What'd he do", Ross asked and Rachel said "That creep that made a date with Pheebs had to cancel because his wife came back home earlier than he thought, so Joey broke off his own date to take her out". Ross said "Does Joey know he's not getting sex"?

Joey and Phoebe are at a restaurant, look at a menu and Phoebe points and says "I can't decided between this or that. Joey looks to where Phoebe was pointing and said to the waiter "Bring her both, and I'll have the same". Phoebe was impressed and said "Wow, you really go all out, when you're on a date". Joey nodded and said "And you haven't seen anything yet" Phoebe thanked Joey for everything and he said "It's not a problem, and the guy who did this to you is a jerk. And it's his loss, and he lost out big time"

Joey and Phoebe were dancing at a local dance-hall, as "6th Avenue Heartache" plays and as they are dancing, Joey leans in to kiss Phoebe, but pulls back and apologizes as Phoebe says "Don't be" and kisses him

The End


	13. TOW Phoebe Quits Playing

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW Phoebe Quits Playing**

"Any word on what happened with the TV", Rachel said as she was flipping thru a copy of the TV Guide. Ross took the TV off the shelf and said "It blew the main fuse, so we need to junk it". Rachel asked when they were getting a new TV and Ross replied as he showed her a catalog "We're getting it today... check it out". Rachel reads the catalog and says "WHOA! We're getting a 50 inch TV". Ross nodded, full of excitement and said "I know, and while we're out, we're also picking up a complete home theater system"

"Wow, we'll never have to go to the movies again", Rachel said. Ross said that Joey would be there soon and Rachel asked what they were going to do, to which Ross replied "We're going to pick up the TV and home theater". Rachel chucked and said "Why not let the professionals do it". Ross laughed and said "Oh poor, naive Rachel. That's exactly what they want you to do, and once they add on the delivery charges and their many other hidden fees, we'd wind up paying more than we did for the TV"

"What hidden fees", Rachel asked and Ross said "If I knew what they were, they wouldn't be hidden fees". Rachel said to let the professionals do it, and she'd pay for the delivery. Ross scoffed and said "Let the men handle it, sweetie". Rachel said "But I thought you said that you guys were going to do it". Ross glares as there is a knock on the door and he invites Joey inside. "Great, you ready" Ross asked, as Joey looked confused and said "Ready for what"?

"We're going to pick up the new TV and home theater system", Ross said as Joey, in his usual clueless nature said "Cool, you're getting a new TV". Ross said that he left a message for Joey, asking for his help in bringing the TV to the apartment. "Oh, I haven't even been home yet, I was out with Violet all night", Joey said and Ross replied "I left you that message a week ago". Joey thought for a moment and said "Damn, I guess I should really start checking that thing"

**Opening Credits**

Phoebe in at Central Perk playing Smelly Cat, while Rachel and Terry are at the counter. Terry turned to Rachel and said "In some parts of the world, this could be considered torture". Rachel chucked and said "So she may be a little un-orthodox". As he was filling a coffee pot, he said "A little un-orthodox? That's like saying Gigli was only a little bit bad". Rachel motioned for Terry to be quiet and said "Shhhh. You'll hurt her feelings" Terry said "But this isn't music... it's... it's... GOD AWFUL CRAP"

Phoebe sets down her guitar and says "I'm going to take a break", as Rachel prays that she didn't hear Terry make fun of her. She approaches the counter, grabs a scone and said "I couldn't help but see you and Terry talking just now". Rachel apologizes and said "Honey I am so sorry. Your music is not God awful crap". Phoebe looked puzzled and said "Terry actually said that". Rachel shook her head and said Uh...nooooooo. No no no". Terry walked by, as he was removing ear plus from his ear and Phoebe said "Maybe he's right".

"No, he's not right", Rachel protested. "Maybe he is, maybe it's time for me to hang up my guitar", Phoebe sighed. Rachel said for Phoebe to let her talk to Terry, and not to do anything. After Phoebe left, Rachel turned to Terry and said "Thank you for being such an ass" Terry defended himself, saying "I'm not the only person who feels this way. Gunther does, too". Gunther is quick to make a hasty exit to the back. "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings", Terry continued, "But I am running a business here and your friend does not fit the atmosphere". Rachel glared at Terry and said "Atmosphere? Please, Terry... this is a coffee house, not the Grand Ballroom"

Ross and Joey are at the store, looking at a TV. "Is that it", Joey asked and Ross nodded and said "Yep, that's the one". A sales associate walks by and said "Good morning, gentleman. Can I help you with something". Ross pointed to the TV and said "I'd like to buy this model". Ross and Joey followed the sales associate to the desk, as Ross handed his credit card. "Ok, and to which address should we deliver this", he asked and Ross chuckled and replied "I'm sure you'd like that, so you can charge me for the delivery. That's OK, we got everything under control, don't we Joey".

"I dunno", Joey whined, "It looks really big and heavy". The salesman advised that if Ross opted to decline professional delivery, the store could not be held accountable for accidents or damage. "Duly noted", Ross said, and then turned to Joey and said "Ok, Joe. You grab this end and I'll grab that end". Joey sighs and picks up his end, as he staggers under the weight as the salesman chuckled and said "Good luck, gentlemen" Ross sets down his end, throwing Joey off-balance as he almost drops his end, as Ross turned to the salesman and said "Exactly what is that supposed to mean"

"Oh nothing", the salesman said with a smug smile, "I'm sure this television set is as light as a feather for two strapping men, such as yourselves". Ross pointed and said "I happen to be in excellent physical health, and so is my friend here. Right Joey"? Joey whined "I think I twisted my ankle. Maybe we should take him up on his offer". Ross rolled his eyes and said "Quit being such a baby and help me carry this thing to the truck. Meanwhile, Phoebe is standing outside a pawn shop holding her guitar. She looks at the pawn shop, looks at her guitar, sighs and goes inside

Ross and Joey are trying to lift the TV into a waiting truck. "Ok", Ross said, "Lift your end...higher...higher...HIGHER". Joey groaned under the weight of the TV and said "I'm lifting as high as I can, dude. Maybe you'd like to trade places". Joey sets his end down "NO", Ross cried, "Don't let..." Joey drops his end, as it lands with a thud... "Go", Ross continued. "Let's just let the delivery people do it", Joey suggested and Ross replied "Absolutely not. I refuse to be at the mercy of the department store" Joey smirked and said "Oh yeah. I forgot how All Powerful they are". Ross sighed and said "Ok, let's try that again". Ross and Joey lift, pull, and push and was finally able to secure the TV in the back of the truck. "And you wanted to hire professionals", Ross said with a smug look and Joey said "That was just from the store to the truck. Don't forget that you live on the 3rd floor". Ross sighed, as Joey asked if he wanted to change his mind about accepting their offer for professional delivery and Ross nodded and said "Yeah"

Ross and Joey go back inside the store and go up to the sales associate and say "About your offer for delivery..." The sales associate smiled and said "What's wrong? Is that TV too big for 2 fine specimens as yourself". Ross glared and "Listen, smarky. Just deliver the TV to this address" Meanwhile back at the apartment, Rachel is flipping thru a magazine as Chandler walked in. "Hey", Rachel said, "You got your cast off". Chandler said "Yeah, I got it off this morning. Anyway, have you seen Phoebe". Rachel said she had not seen Phoebe since they were at the coffee house and Chandler said "Well, I saw her take her guitar into a pawn shop". Rachel said she overheard Terry make fun of her playing and said "C'mon, I have an idea" as they both leave the apartment

It was later on in the evening as Ross and Joey were returning as the delivery people were carrying the TV. "I thought you said you guys didn't need delivery. I thought you said they were over-priced goons". Ross said "Hey, you try lugging that thing up three flights of stairs". One of the delivery people laugh and said "I thought you were going to have a heart attack, just trying to get it in the truck". Rachel laughed and Ross said "Hey, we could have carried it. It's not that heavy". They get the TV set up, hand Ross a bill for delivery and said "The over-priced goons thank you", as they leave the apartment.

Everybody is gathered at Central Perk the next day as Rachel said "I sure hope Phoebe comes by". Monica nodded and said "I know, it will be so weird if she doesn't". A few minutes pass as Phoebe enters as everybody in Central Perk gives her a standing ovation. "Wow, this scarf really DOES get attention" Terry approached and said "I am so sorry, Phoebe. You would not believe the many, many many people who asked where you were and why you weren't performing". Phoebe said, "Well that kind of presents a problem, because I sold my guitar".

Rachel approaches and hands Phoebe a guitar and said "Does this look familiar". Phoebe takes the guitar and said "I don't know". Terry said "You gotta play. Ever since you left, my business has dropped. I'll pay you". Phoebe laughed and said "You don't have to pay me. Just the fact that you want me to play, is enough" Phoebe looks at her guitar as sings as the entire coffee house sings Smelly Car

**-- The End --**


	14. TOW Joey and Amanda

**TOW Joey and Amanda**

Everybody except Joey is present at Monica and Phoebe's apartment. Monica and Chandler are cuddling on the sofa, watching TV. Ross and Rachel are going over travel brochures and Phoebe is at the table, writing a new song "My little unicorn, with his little uni-horn fa la la la", Phoebe sings to herself, as she continues to write. Ross shows a brochure to Rachel and said "Hey, how about this place? It's a cute bed-and-breakfast, right on the ocean"

Chandler asked if they were going on a vacation, and Ross said he had a conference to attend, the next month and decided to use the time to get away, as well. "That sounds like fun", Monica said to Chandler who said "Yeah it does, maybe we should look into it, as well". Joey entered the apartment and said with excitement and said "The most awesome thing happened at the studio". Everybody rushed around Joey, asking what happened

"I met the most amazing and incredible woman", he said as Chandler rolled his eyes and asked "Who is it this week". Joey asked what he meant and Ross informed him, that every week he was out with a different woman. "I bet you've never had a relationship last longer than two weeks" Joey said this one was different, and Monica said "And so was every other girl you've ever gone out with". Joey said "But she IS different, and I even imagined getting married with her". Rachel said "That's so great, what's her name". Joey shrugged and said "I dunno"

**Opening Credits**

Only Phoebe and Joey were at the apartment, playing cards. "Gin", Phoebe exclaimed and she showed her cards. "Gin? I thought we were playing poker", Joey mused as Monica entered and picked up a can of soda that was on the coffee table. "OK, who put this can on the table, without using a coaster". Phoebe looks nervous and said "Uhh... Ross did?". Monica throws the can in the trash and says from now on Ross is not allowed to eat or drink in the living room.

"But I still can, right", Joey asked and Monica said "You can as long as you don't spill anything". Joey goes over to the sofa and takes one of the cushions that had a spaghetti stain on it. "JOEY", Monica fumed as Joey flipped the cushion to where the clean side was facing Monica and said "Sorry, you weren't supposed to see that side", as he left the apartment. Meanwhile at Ross and Rachel's apartment, Ross was whining about having to have dinner with Rachel's father

"He hates me", he groaned as he paced around the living room. "Ross", Rachel said, "My father does not hate you". Ross looked at her and said "Please, he calls me Bone Head". Ross sat down on the sofa as Rachel said "You know he can be hard and grumpy sometimes". Ross sneered and said "Ya think"? Rachel begged him to try and be nice, saying she just wanted her two favorite men to try and get along. There was a knock on the door and Ross sighed as Rachel went to answer it.

"Hi daddy", she exclaimed as she hugged her father. "How's my baby girl" he asked as he kissed her. Ross goes over to shake his hand, but he just hands him a briefcase and said "Thanks, Bonehead". Rachel rolled her eyes and said "Come on. Just for once can't you get along". Dr. Geller sat down and said "What's wrong? Can't he take a little joke". Rachel cleared her throat and said "Daddy..." Dr. Green nodded and said "Fine" as he turned to Ross and said "So do you still work at that school"

Ross replied "If you mean the University, yes. I am a doctor of..." Dr. Green interrupted and turned to Rachel and said "Speaking of doctors, I ran into Barry at the Country Club last week and he is opening a new clinic in Queens and is also getting another award from the Dental Academy. When you were a little girl, you always dreamed about marrying a doctor". Rachel motioned to Ross and said "But daddy, Ross is a doctor". Dr. Green turned to Ross and said "How many of your patients are still alive"?

Joey is checking his email and Chandler is reading the paper when Phoebe enters and asks if she could stay with them, until Monica quits flipping out. "Sure, but what happened", Chandler asked. Phoebe said "She found a few cookie crumbs on the floor. I swear Ross leaves a drink on the table and she says "we'll be can't eat in the living room any more", but God forbid I should drop a few cookie crumbs, and it's like I killed somebody"

"Is she really that work up over a few cookie crumbs", Joey asked. Phoebe rolled her eyes and said "Ok, maybe it was more than a few a cookie crumbs". Chandler said that still didn't sound like too much to freak out about, and Phoebe said "Ok, so maybe it was more than a few cake crumbs", and Chandler asked what she dropped. "Ok, ok", Phoebe said, "Stop giving me the third degree. I dropped a cake all over Monica's carpet and as she was cleaning it up, she bumped into the dining room table causing her milk to spill as well. "Dear God, you need to leave the country and change your name", Chandler exclaimed.

Ross entered and asked why Monica kept screaming "Chocolate stains". Phoebe said she needed to leave and darts out of the apartment as the phone rang. Joey speaks for a few minutes and said "I got me a date tonight". Ross asked who with and Joey replied it was the girl he told them about "It's the girl I met on the set the other day. Her name is Amanda". Chandler asked if they had rules about dating people they work with and Joey looks blankly and said "What's your point"

It was the next day at Central Perk, and only Monica and Rachel were present, as Monica was complaining about having a stain on her nice apartment. "It's not like she did that on purpose", Rachel said as Joey walked in, ordered a Latte and sat down on the sofa, asking where Phoebe was at. "What do you mean where is Phoebe at", Monica asked. Joey said that he had not seen her since yesterday, and wanted to ask her a question.

"We thought she was with you guys", Rachel said. Joey replied that she was, but then she left. Joey saw a French Fry on the ground, picked it up and ate it as Monica said "Joey, I can't believe you just did that". Joey said "What's the big deal? It's still food". Monica said that Phoebe did not come home last night, and just then Phoebe enters, carrying a newspaper as Monica runs up to her and asks if she was ok. Phoebe nods, saying she spent the night at a motel. "Why did you stay at a motel, sweetie", Rachel said and Phoebe said that she made a stain on Monica's carpet, she turned to Monica, saying she'll get her things and look for a new apartment

"Whoa, who said anything about a new apartment", Monica said as she took her hand and they both sat down on the sofa. "Sweetie, it was an accident, and I am so sorry that I flipped out". Rachel said, "So you're ok with Phoebe leaving a chocolate stain on your carpet, but when I set down my soda, it's like I killed somebody". Monica turned to her and said "How hard is it, to walk to the counter, and get a coaster". "I promise I will try to be more neat", Phoebe said as Monica and Phoebe hug, while Joey watches, and smiles. "Niiiiice", Joey grinned as Rachel punched him in the arm. An attractive brunette approaches and kisses Joey, and he introduces them to the girl. "Hey, this is Amanda", Joey introduced as everybody says hello. "I had fun last night", she said to Joey, and I just wanted to drop by and givbe you something. "Yeah, what's that", Joey said as Amanda smiled and said "This", as she kisses Joey

Ross is at a jewelry store, as the clerk hands him a diamond ring. "It's perfect. She'll love it


	15. TOW Chandler Smoking

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW Chandler Smoking**

Chandler was at his office, entering data into the computer, pausing every few seconds to take a puff of a cigarette, making sure nobody is around. Chandler's boss approaches and says he has some bad news. Chandler smirks and says "May day is not complete without a little bad news, sir" His boss said "Well, we have more work than we can handle, and not enough people to handle it... do you see where I am going with this"?

"So are you going to hire more people", Chandler asked. His boss chuckled and said "Boy, I wish it was that easy. We don't have enough on the budget to hire more people... which means starting today, we will be having a 6 day work week". Chandler looked at his boss and said "So I have to be here on Saturday", and he nodded. "Well, at least I'll be getting overtime", Chandler sighed. His boss said that since he was on salary, he doesn't get paid overtime

"That's not fair", Chandler angrily shot back. His boss shrugged and said "I'm sorry, but life's not always fair". He left and Chandler went back to smoking his cigarette and thought to himself "Maybe, I should quit and do something else... oh, who the hell am I kidding.

It was later that evening at Central Perk, and everybody was present. Monica starts to sniff the air and says "What's that smell". Phoebe said that she smelled it too, and it smelled like cigarette smoke. Monica kissed Chandler, and looked at him furious and said "I knew it, you've been smoking". Everybody started to chide Chandler for smoking again and Joey said "Dude, do you know how many people die from that crap". Rachel asked why Chandler would do that to himself, and Monica demanded that Chandler hand over the pack of cigarettes and lighter.

"OK, so I've had a few cigarettes. I had a bad day at work, so just get off my back". Monica took a step backwards, looked at him square in the eye and said "Get off your back"? Chandler threw his cup of coffee on the floor, as the ceramic dish shattered and yelled "Yes, get off my damn back. I had to deal with a lot of crap today, and don't need any crap from you guys" Monica was livid and said "Fine, if you want to kill yourself, don't let us stand in the way, buddy"

"Calm down... both of you", Ross said as Chandler took a cigarette out of his pack, made sure Monica was watching as Chandler lit it, and took a puff. "Should I notify your next of kin", Monica said, as Chandler turned to leave and muttered "Go to hell". Monica yelled that Chandler should drop dead, as Rachel looked at Monica shocked and said "Honey, you don't mean that". Monica did not respond as Chandler left Central Perk, and slumps to the ground, clutching his chest

"Very funny, Chandler", Monica said, clearly not impressed. "Ok, Chandler that's not funny", Ross said. Chandler didn't move as Phoebe goes over to check on him, then rushes back and grabs her cell phone

Everybody is gathered at the waiting room, as no news of Chandler's condition is available. Monica bites her nails as she nervously paces around the lobby, as Rachel does what she can to keep her calm. The doctor approaches with a somber and solemn look as Ross got up to meet him, asking how Chandler was doing. The doctor said Chandler suffered a very bad heart attack, and it didn't look good. With a shaky voice, Rachel asked what that meant, and the doctor said they may want to notify his next of kin

Phoebe started to cry, as the doctor said if they wanted to say goodbye, they better do it now. Ross was still shocked as a tear rolled down his cheek, said he would notify Chandler's parents. Monica collapsed on the ground, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably and said "This is my fault. All of this is my fault". Rachel goes over to her, kneels down beside her and hugs her and softly said "No it's not sweetie". Monica replied in between sobs "But I told him to drop dead. That's why he's dying, dammit. I killed his spirit"

Rachel tried to explain those where just words, and were spoken out of anger and Monica said "And he believed me". Joey said "It was a lot of thing Mon, not just smoking. I mean, that didn't help any, but he also had a lot of stress at work, as of late" Rachel asked why didn't Chandler say anything about that and Joey said Chandler was too proud to admit he needed help. "Nothing is going to happen to Chandler", Phoebe said, who was trying to get the others to be optimistic, "Chandler is not going to die... I mean not like this. I've seen visions of you and Chandler, in a great big house with lots of kids. Face it, we're stuck with him for a very long time"

Monica tried to force a smile and said "I hope so... but you heard the doctor". Phoebe told her to stop being so negative, and they should all try to think good thoughts. "Chandler can sense what we think and feel, and if we keep thinking it's over, so will he". Joey tried to hide the tears that were forming and said "It's more my fault than anybody else's. I knew he was smoking, but I never did anything about it. I never confronted him about it". Joey runs down the hall, as Phoebe follows after him

Ross returned with some coffee for everybody, saying that he was unable to reach Chandler's father and his mother was currently in Switzerland on a book tour, but left a message was her publicist. Monica just nods, not saying a word, as she hugs her brother. Meanwhile Joey is leaning against a wall, trying desperately not to lose it completely as Phoebe finally tracked him down. "I should have taken those damned cigarettes away", he sighed, "I should have hidden them. I should have threatened to kick his ass, if he smoked another cigarette"

Phoebe doesn't say anything, and just walked over to him, putting her arm around him. "I don't know what the hell to do", Joey said as Phoebe replied "That's ok, Joey. Nobody does". Joey said that he was supposed to be the strong one, the one that nothing bothers, the guy with all the answers. "It's ok, Joey. I promise. You don't need to be superman. Every loses it, at one point or another, and that's ok. Nobody will think anything less of you". Joey tried as hard as he could, but could not stop the tears, as Phoebe hugged him.

Joey and Phoebe had returned to the waiting room, about 20 minutes later, just as the doctor was approaching them, stating that Chandler was very quickly slipping away and asked if they wanted to say goodbye. Joey shook his head and stammered "I... I can't. How can we just say goodbye to our best friend". Ross looked at Joey, understanding all too well what he meant and said "Joe, I know this is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. But please trust me, if you don't, you will hate yourself forever"

They followed the doctor to a room, where Chandler was laying on a bed, connected to different machines. He didn't even seem like the old Chandler, as all color had left his face. Monica put her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle the sobs, as Rachel held her hand, trying to give her some support. They stared down at Chandler in shock, nobody could quite believe that this was actually happening, wishing that this was just some freakishly bad dream.

"Chandler", Ross said, "You have been the best friend and best roommate a guy could ever ask for". Joey wiped the tears and asked Chandler who would he go and pick up girls with and with a faint smile said "Chandler, I know your going to a better place, and I know this is selfish of us, but we want you back here with us. Please don't leave me, buddy". Monica approached the bed, gently stroking Chandler's hand and said "I am so sorry about what I said and I didn't mean a word of it.

Chandler drew a sharp, ragged breath as the heart monitor showed a flat-line as Monica screamed out NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, as doctors and nurses rushed everybody out of the room


	16. TO After The Death

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TO After The Death **

It was a few hours later, and the gang was still at the hospital, unable to come to terms with what happened. The hospital coroner had just authorized the death certificate, making it official. One by one, they each privately said goodbye to Chandler, before slowly making their way outside and drove back to their apartment, not speaking a word. Once they arrived, Ross suggested going to Central Perk, but Rachel said she wasn't in the mood and Joey said he was going to go for a walk.

"Honey, why don't you stay", Monica offered saying nobody needed to be alone right now, but Joey insisted he was ok and left. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel gathered around the table looking at photos, talking about their favorite moments with Chandler as the radio was playing "Love Hurts", and Monica started sobbing, took the radio and ripped it out of the socket and threw it across the room. "Honey, it will be ok", Phoebe said as she sat down by Monica, putting her arm around her roommate.

"No, it won't be ok and it's not fair", Monica sobbed, "Stuff like this is not supposed to happen to the good guys. There are killers, terrorists and other bad people and God decided to take Chandler. How is that fair". Phoebe sighed and said "Nobody is saying it's fair, but did you ever think the reason God took Chandler is because he IS one of the good guys". Phoebe replied "No you're right, this isn't fair. But how do you think Joey feels? Chandler was his best friend"

Joey was sitting in his barcalounger, staring at the empty one next to him, holding on to Hugsy for all he was worth and was looking a photo of them taken at Times Square, last New Year's Eve. Chandler was in a particular goofy mood, and was making a funny face as he was giving Joey the "bunny ears". Joey is trying his hardest not to break down and cry again, as a gentle knock was heard at the door, but Joey preferred to ignore it.

Rachel opened the door and went over to Joey, sitting on the arm of the chair, and in a very soft and gentle voice said "Sweetie, are you doing ok". Joey shrugged and said "I don't know Rach. To be honest, I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to be feeling right now". Joey got up and started to pace around the apartment, but Rachel grabbed his hand, forcing him to stop and looked at him square in the eye and said "I promise it will be ok".

"No it won't", Joey shot back in anger. Rachel said "Then we'll make it ok". Joey asked how everything will be ok, ever again. Rachel said she didn't know, but knew that Chandler would want them to be ok. "Listen", she said, still holding Joey's arm, "Why don't you come across the hall. Monica and Pheebs are really worried about you, right now". Joey said he didn't feel like going anywhere and Rachel insisted, saying he didn't need to be alone, but Joey assured her, that he just needed some time, was all.

"Ok, honey", Rachel said, not wanting Joey to feel pressurized to do something he didn't want and simply said "It's ok. You'll come over, when you're ready". After Rachel left, Joey looked at the picture and for reason he could not explain or understand, he became very angry. He was angry at God for taking Chandler, he was angry at himself for not confronting Chandler's smoking, and he was angry at Chandler for leaving. He glared at the picture and with all of his strength, threw it against the wall, as the frame broke and shattered.

Rachel was standing outside his apartment when she heard the noise, burst inside. She saw the broken frame and went over and hugged Joey, who could not hold back the tears. Rachel just held him, and kept whispering "It's gonna be ok", over and over. Rachel insisted that Joey go across the hall to be with everybody else, but he declined. Rachel nodded, walked across the hall, where Phoebe and Monica were sitting at the table and asked them to meet her across the hall.

It was a few hours later, and everybody gathered at Joey and Chandler's apartment. Ross said that he already spoke with Chandler's mother, and they would be having a memorial on Friday. "I can't make it, I have a lot going on" Joey said. "Sweetie, you really need to come. It will give you a chance to say goodbye". Phoebe asked why Joey didn't want to come, and angrily he said that if he went, he would be admitting that Chandler was really gone, and never coming back again.

"But deep inside you know that's true", Ross said. Joey didn't answer and Ross became insistent and said "Look, Joe you are just going to have to accept..." Rachel interrupted, took Ross' hand and in a low tone said "Ross, not now". Ross apologized, saying that's not how he meant it to sound. "I know, dude. It's ok", Joey replied. There was a knock on the door as Ross goes to answer it, and Amanda stood at the doorway and asked how Joey was. Ross whispered that he was doing ok, and invited her inside.

Amanda hugs Joey and said "I am so very sorry, Joe". Joey stepped back and shouted "QUIT BEING SORRY. I swear everybody is sorry, but that won't bring him back! The fact is I didn't have the guts to confront his smoking, and now he's dead". Rachel held Joey firmly, forcing him to make eye contact and in a firm, sharp tone she said "You have no right to feel guilty, Joey. You had nothing to do with this. Yes Chandler smoked, but that was only one factor. He also had stress, ate too much bad food, and ever got any exercise. It was not just his smoking, and it's not your fault"

It was almost midnight, Ross said that it was getting late, as they said goodbye and went back to their apartment. Joey stands at the entrance to Chandler's room, lost in his thoughts and Phoebe said she wanted to stay. "You don't have to, Phoebe". Phoebe said that she wanted to, and grabbed some blankets from the closet and made a pallet on the sofa and said "If you need anything..." Joey smiled and replied, "Thanks, Pheebs and that goes for you, too".

**To Be Continued**


	17. TOW The Decision

**TOW The Decision**

The gang had just left the hospital, and Chandler saw a figure from the corner of his eye. He turned his head, and in the corner, stood a figure wearing a a bright, white robe. It was far brighter than anything Chandler had ever seen. "Whoa, that does it. No more expired lunch meats from now on", he joked as the figure laughed and said "I always liked your humor, Chandler". Chandler replied "Yeah, I'm a real hoot. Who are you, by the way"

"Who I am is not as important as what I am", the figure said. Chandler nodded and asked what he was, and was told he was a spirit guide. "Did Phoebe put you up to this", Chandler asked and the figure told him to turn around, and Chandler did, and saw his own body, laying lifeless on the bed. "So I am really dead then", Chandler asked as the figure only nodded. Chandler asked what killed him, and the figure replied "Smoking too much, and not taking care of yourself"

"Funny, I always thought it would have been Monica's nagging, or Ross' whining that killed me", Chandler mused. A smile crossed his face and said "I want to pop out of the TV and scare Joey... you know, like they did on Poltergeist". The spirit guide said he was here, for a much more serious purpose and said Chandler often wondered if he left his mark on the world, and wondered if his existence even mattered, and if he mattered to those he cared about. For the first time in his life, Chandler was utterly speechless, as his insecurities often caused him to wonder about such things, but he never spoke of them. The spirit guide motioned for Chandler to follow him. "Where are we going", Chandler asked and the spirit guide replied they were going to answer his question.

In a flash, they find themselves in the present time at Central Perk, where Rachel is pouring coffee. "Hey Rachel", Chandler calls out, but she does not respond, or even acknowledge him. The spirit guide turned to Chandler and said "She cannot see nor can she hear you. You see, she never knew you". Chandler said "But she doesn't work here, she works for Ralph Lauren". The spirit guide replied "That was the Rachel you knew. You see, Chandler, it was you who inspired her to follow her dreams and passion. But because you were never here, you never inspired her. So she works at a job she hates, because she does not think she is capable of anything better

Joey enters Central Perk wearing a uniform that says "Tribbiani Pipe Fitting", on the back. "Hey it's Joey, but what's he wearing", Chandler asked and the Spirit Guide asked Chandler, what Joey did for a living, and Chandler replied that he was an actor. "That was the Joey you knew", the spirit guide replied, "You see it was you who taught Joey to believe in himself, even when nobody else did. But you were not here to inspire and encourage him, and he lost faith in himself, and went back to work with his father. They had a fight about 5 years ago, and have not spoken since. Eventually Joey bought the business from his father, but will always wonder what would have happened, if he didn't give up acting.

"What about Ross", Chandler asked and was told that he married Emily and lived upstate, agreeing not to see Rachel again, for the sake of their marriage. "But they're totally wrong for each other! It was supposed to be Ross and Rachel", Chandler exclaimed. "But because you were never here to point that out, Ross never realized that... until it was too late", the spirit guide replied. Chandler asked what he meant by 'too late', and was told Ross could not live with himself, with the pain and guilt over Rachel, and next week, Rachel would end her own life as well, not being able to stand her pain. She thinks everything was her fault, by going to London. And then Monica, who could not bear losing both her brother and best friend...

"NO! This can't be happening", Chandler cried out. "But it is, Chandler. All because you were never here to make a difference in each of their lives. You do make a difference, more than you will ever know". The spirit guide motioned for Chandler to follow him "Where are we going now", he asked and he replied "You have seen your friends, without you in their lives. Now we will see them, after you have left them".

They arrive at Monica and Phoebe's apartment, and everybody except for Monica is present. Ross is crying on the sofa, as Rachel is sitting next to him, holding his hand, and crying herself. Phoebe is sitting in the chair, her arms wrapped around herself, trying to block out the pain, as Joey just stares blankly ahead, looking lost, alone, and confused. "I just can't believe any of this is happening", Phoebe said, finally breaking the tense silence.

"I don't think anybody could have expected this, sweetie", Rachel said as she wiped her eyes. "This is like a bad dream", Ross sighed. Chandler scanned the room, noticing Monica was not there, turned to his spirit guide and asked where Monica was. "Do you really want to know", he asked and Chandler, afraid of the answer said "No... but I have to know". In a flash of light they arrive at a cemetery, in front of a tombstone that reads 'Here lies Monica Gellar, soul mate of Chandler Muriel Bing, united forever in Eternal Sleep'

Chandler drops in front of the grave, not believing what he is reading as the spirit guide said "She could not face the world without you, Chandler". Chandler looked at the spirit guide and said "There has to be a way to stop this from happening". There was a long pause and the spirit guide said "Chandler, everybody has a choice and she made her choice". Chandler grew furious and yelled "NO! I don't accept that". The spirit guide remained calm and said "Whether you believe it or not, everybody has a choice and everybody is responsible for that choice. Just like right now, you too have a choice".

Chandler asked what he meant by that, and the spirit guide replied "You can choose to move on to the next life... a life filled with love, light, and happiness, never knowing shame, fear, or defeat. Or you can return to the life you previously knew. Chandler is shocked to hear his friends pray for him, and for Chandler to be OK, wherever he may be. "Your lucky to find just one good friend in your life. You found 5 such friends", the spirit guide replied, making eye contact with Chandler he said, "And it's time to make a decision. It's time to make a choice, son".

Joey had just finally drifted off to sleep when the telephone rang, in the living room as he went to answer it, and slammed it down, with a huge smile on his face shouted "He's alive". Phoebe who was already asleep, woke up, asking what the commotion was about. "We gotta get to the hospital! The doctor just called to say Chandler was alive". Phoebe smiled a sad smile, and said "I know you miss him, sweetie. You just miss him so much that you imagined that". Still smiling Joey said "Nu-uh" and ran frantically called Ross and Rachel, to let them know as well, then runs across the hall, banging loudly on the door to wake up Monica.

Soon they all find themselves in Phoebe's taxi, as she quickly sped to the hospital. They all get out and rush inside and find the doctor who said "We can't explain this one", and confirmed that Chandler was alive. They break out in cheers, hugging the doctor who said "We didn't do anything. Like I said, we can't explain this" Joey asked if they could see Chandler, and the doctor said that visiting hours were over, but due to the circumstances, he would make an exception, but said they could only stay for a few minutes.

They enter the room, as Chandler smiled and weakly said "You look like hell"

-- To Be Continued --


	18. TOW All The Changes

**TOW The All The Changes**

It was the next morning, as Chandler slowly woke up, with the rest of the gang standing by his bed. "Welcome back, dude", Joey said so full of excitement he could barely contain himself. Chandler smiled at his friend's enthusiasm and simply said "Thanks, man". Monica walked up to Chandler, gently took his hand, and said "I am so very sorry". Chandler interrupted, saying he was the one who should be sorry, as he was acting like a selfish brat.

The doctor enters and said "You were quite lucky there, young man". Chandler looked at his friends... the people who stood by him, in both the good times, as well as the bad times, simply smiled and said "I was lucky all along. I just never knew it". The doctor scribbles some things down on a paper, and looked at Chandler, and said "I want you to slow it down and give yourself time to recover". Chandler nodded saying he would. The doctor sternly said "But above all, I want you to quit smoking. Those things will kill you".

"Been having some trouble and stress at work I hear", the doctor said, watching Chandler's expression and he said "Yeah, I hate my job. But I guess everybody does". The doctor informed Chandler that he loved his job, followed by Ross, Joey, Rachel and Monica. "Great", Chandler whined, "Everybody has a cooler job than me... OH MY GOD, I can't believe I just said Ross has a cooler job than I do"

The doctor said perhaps Chandler could find another job, possibly a job he enjoys and will be happy. "Will that help my health", Chandler asked and the doctor replied "We;;, it's been my experience that people who are usually happy at work, and enjoy what they do, are usually happy people overall". Chandler frowned, saying he didn't even know where to start and Monica said "That's ok. You don't need to think about that, right now.

The doctor agreed, saying right now his main focus should be getting better, and everything else will take care of itself. Chandler nodded as the doctor continued to scribble down some things on paper and handing it to Chandler, told him he needed to modify his diet. Chandler read the list out loud, somewhat annoyed "Don't eat pork, meat, eggs... OH COME ON! What am I supposed to eat, when I'm watching TV? The doctor suggested that instead of pretzels, he eat carrots.

"Hey, come on in! The game's about to start, so help yourself to some celery and tofu", Chandler quipped as he put the paper on his night-stand. "Don't worry, we'll make sure he sticks to the diet", Monica said, turning her attention to Chandler added, "One way or another". The doctor said with such good friends by his side, Chandler would adjust fine. "When can I go home", Chandler groaned and the doctor replied "Not for a few more days. You've been thru a lot, and we need to run some more tests

"Great, we had tickets to the Knicks game tonight", he complained, as Monica grew angry and said "After everything you've been thru, you would rather go to a stupid game than try and get better? Maybe the doctor should examine your head, next". Ross attempts to calm her down, as Chandler said "I'm sorry, but everything is changing just so quickly". Monica nodded, as her voice softened and replied "I know it's hard, but we'll help you. In fact, we could all stand to go on a diet"

The doctor replied that he thought that was a terrific idea, as Joey just stares at Monica. She turned to him and said "Yes Joey, you too". Joey exclaimed "Why? Why do I have to go on a diet? I'm not the one who had a heart attack". The doctor, in a serious tone, informed Joey that was nothing to joke about, as Chandler was trying not to laugh himself, because of the pain and said "Where I live, this is normal". The doctor said "Ok, well Chandler needs to get some rest, and from the looks of it, so do the rest of you". One by one, they said goodbye, telling Chandler they will see him later

The gang was over at Joey and Chandler's apartment, going thru the freezer, as Rachel took out a package of bacon, throwing it in the trash can. Joey quickly went after it, as Ross smacked his hand, telling him to show just a little self-control, and self-restraint. "When Monica threw the ham in the dumpster, it took both Monica and Rachel to hold Joey back, and to stop him from climbing intro the dumpster", Rachel said as Ross just stared at Joey, who in a whiney-voice said "But it was the ham, dammit"

"Joey, you may not want to watch this", Rachel warned as she took out the beer and Pizza. "NO", Joey intoned, "I've been able to make my peace with the bacon and and ham, but there is no way I'll let you do that to the pizza and beer". Rachel replied they were under orders from Monica and Ross said "And it's for your own good, Joe". Rachel quickly takes the pizza and tosses it down the trash chute, as Joey quickly tries to grab a bottle of beer, but Phoebe knocks it out of his hand and warns "Don't make me kick your ass, Tribbiani"

Rachel returned and said "Are you sure you want to watch this, Joey". Joey sighed, and turned around, whimpering and cringing, as Rachel opens every can and bottle of beer, pouring the liquid down the drain. "That's just mean", Joey said as he turned back around and Ross firmly replied "It's for your own good". Joey shrugged and muttered "Yeah, whatever". Phoebe asked where Monica was and Rachel said she would be back later, as she and Chandler were at a heath-food store.

"Health food", Joey smirked, "That's just a nice way of saying 'crap'". Rachel said they were finished and needed to get rid of the junk food at their own apartment and Ross said 'What? Why', and Rachel said they were doing it for Chandler, so he didn't have to go thru this by himself. "And it's for your own good", Joey replied, smugly. Ross frowns and storms off as Rachel and Phoebe leave as well. Joey grabbed a chair, reaching for the top cabinet, grabbing a package of stale donuts, not knowing Phoebe had returned for something, and was standing right behind Joey. "Joseph Francis Tribbiani", she sternly said as Joey groaned "Oh, crap". Phoebe takes the donuts from his hand saying "I'll take these, thank you", and leaves to throw them away.

It was later on that evening, well after visiting hours, as Chandler was lying in bed, bored, staring at the walls. A few moments later, Joey enters, rolling a portable TV that he found in the lobby. He turns on the basketball game, sitting down next to Chandler as he said "What are you doing here? We had tickets to the game, and thought you'd want to watch it, in person". Joey shook his head and said "Nope. I only want to watch the game with my best friend"

Chandler smiled as Joey made sure there were no doctors or nurses nearby and tossed Chandler a candy bar and said "Take your time and enjoy it, because if Monica has her way, it's the last piece of candy we'll ever eat again"


	19. TOW Chandler Goes Home

Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW Chandler Goes Home**

_- Takes places right after TOW All The Changes - _

It was a few hours later, and Chandler and Joey are watching the last few minutes of the game. 'Oh come on, I can't believe they pay you $5 million a year', Joey shouted at the television set, as Chandler tries to keep him quiet, saying that it was already well past visiting hours. A female nurse enters a few seconds later and said 'Now Mr. Bing, what did we say about getting all worked up'. Chandler asked for just 5 more minutes, saying the game was just about over.

The nurse sees the candy wrapper on the floor and picks it up saying 'And I am pretty sure this is not on your diet, either'. Joey takes the wrapper from her hand, saying it was his. 'And you're just eating that in front of him? That's pretty bad, of you', the nurse scolded Joey. The nurse turns around and sees the TV and said 'I'm sorry gentlemen, but no TV sets are allowed in this wing. We need Mr. Bing to rest and recuperate'. The nurse sees the game and exclaims 'Un-believable! You'd think somebody who makes $5 million a year, can at least make a 2-pointer'. The nurse grabs an empty chair and sits down, watching the game.

**Opening Credits**

It's about 15 minutes later, and about 5 nurses are in the room, watching the game, groaning. 'Well that's the game', one nurse said. 'And the season' the 2cd nurse added, before unplugging the television set, and wheeling it away, telling Chandler to get some sleep and that Joey could visit more in the morning. 'Get some sleep, and I'll be back later', Joey said as he was leaving. The nurse made sure Chandler was ok, before turning the light off, and closing the door

Joey was about to enter his apartment when Rachel comes from Monica and Chandler's apartment hugging Joey saying 'Thank God you're ok". Joey said he was OK and Rachel grabbed him by the collar and shouted 'Where the hell were you? We've been worried sick'. Monica enters the hallway to investigate the commotion and asked if Joey was OK. Joey replied that he was fine and was just at the hospital watching the basketball game with Chandler.

'I know he's your best friend, but he needs to rest right now. He does not need to be watching a stupid game', Monica informed to which Joey defensively responded 'It's not a stupid game. This was the Playoff game'. Monica replied that Chandler didn't need to be worrying about that right now. About that time, Monica noticed the candy bar wrapper that Joey was holding and said 'What's that? I thought we were helping Chandler with his diet by going on it with him'

Joey replied that he didn't eat the candy bar as Monica threateningly took a step towards him and said 'For your sake you better tell me that you found that on the street and was just going to throw it away'. Joey rolled his eyes and said 'I got it for Chandler, ok'? Monica softened her tone and said 'I know he's your best friend and everything, but it's not that simple anymore. Chandler's whole life has changed'. Rachel said it was getting late and if they could save the bickering for the morning, as everybody said goodnight.

It was a few days later as the gang goes to visit Chandler to find him out of bed, walking around the room. 'Look at you', Joey exclaims with a smile on his face as Monica took Chandler's hand, forcing him to lie back down, asking him not to over do it. 'I feel fine... despite the circumstances, And I appreciate your concern, but can take care of myself'. Monica sat on the edge of the bed and replied 'I know you can, and that's not how I meant it to sound. We just want you to start taking care of yourself'

The doctor entered the room and with a smile said 'So, who wants to go home'. Chandler smiled and said 'Really? I can get out of here', as he was going crazy with nothing to do by lie in bed, staring at the walls all day and night. 'We have another EKG to run, along with some other tests but if everything shows good, you'll be going home tomorrow', the doctor replied. Chandler smiled and said 'That's great and no offense Doc, but I hope I never see you again'. The doctor laughed and said 'Same here, son'

The doctor left as Chandler sighed 'Finally I get can on with my life', as Monica looked at him and said 'And you know that some changes need to be made, right'? Chandler nodded saying that he understood as Monica asked if he had any cigarettes hidden and Chandler replied that he did, under the VCR. Rachel nodded and said 'They won't be there when you get back'. Monica also told Chandler they restocked their pantry as Joey smirked and replied 'Yeah.. with crap'

'We're going to make sure you stick with the diet whether you like it or not', Monica informed Chandler. 'So what'd ya do? Throw everything out', as Ross nodded and replied 'Yeah, pretty much'. Joey pouted and said 'They even threw out the pizza and beer'. Ross turned to Joey and said 'It's for...' as Joey rolled his eyes and said "Yeah, yeah. It's for our own good'. Rachel nodded and replied 'It really is. We're not trying to be bossy or mean. But we're doing this because we care about you guys and in fact, we're going on the diet with you'.

'Did you throw away the beef jerky and potato chips', Chandler asked as Monica replied they did not and asked where they were. 'NO! I've had to watch the beer and pizza get tossed, but not the jerky and the chips', Joey shouted. 'Come on, where is it at? You know I'll find them eventually, so you may as well save everybody the time and trouble' Chandler nodded and said 'OK, they're...' as Joey shouted 'NO', and then turned to Chandler and said 'I'll smack you'. Rachel covered Joey's mouth with her hand and said 'OK, so where are they'? Chandler replied they were stashed in the top cabinet

Rachel released her grip from Rachel and said 'You traitor'. Monica slapped herself in the forehead and said 'Top cabinet. Think Monica, Think'. Chandler asked if they were really all going on the diet with him, as Rachel said they were all in it together and didn't want Chandler to feel like he was having to do everything, alone. 'And I'm a chef, remember? I can do amazing things with food, and you won't even know it's healthy food'. Monica leans forward as she and Chandler kiss, just as a nurse enters the room with a wheelchair.

'Now that can't be good for his heart-rate', the nurse joked as Monica blushed. The nurse turned her attention to Chandler and said 'So I hear you're just about out of here'. Chandler replied that he was leaving tomorrow and the nurse said 'Well that all depends on how the tests go. Are you ready'. Chandler got out of bed as the nurse asked him to sit down on the wheelchair. 'Thanks, but I can walk', Chandler said as the nurse shook her head and said 'Sorry. Hospital policy'. Monica gently helps Chandler into the wheelchair as the nurse informed them it would be about 2 hours until the tests are finished and invited them to wait in the waiting room'.

It was about half an hour later, as Ross announced that he was going to get some coffee as Joey said he would go with him, as he hated just standing around. 'I hope Chandler's test goes ok', Rachel said as Phoebe did her best to assure her that it would, as Monica thanked them for being there for her. Nora Bing came running, saying she just now arrived in New York, having been stuck in Europe because of a storm. 'How is he', Nora said, trying to will herself not to cry.

Phoebe said everything seemed to be fine, and was having one last run of tests, before being released from the hospital. 'He's so lucky to have great friends', Nora said as she hugged each one of them. Ross and Joey arrive with the coffee and say hello to Nora, who hugs them and thanks them for being there for Chandler. 'I was never there for him, when he was a child. It's nice to know you are the kind of people I never was', she said. Nora went to visit with Chandler, before saying goodbye. About an hour later the doctor approaches to say the test look good and Chandler would be going home the next day, as everybody thanks him.

It was later on in the day, as everybody was back at Chandler's hospital room as the doctor told him to keep of his feet for the first week, then do some light exercises to strengthen his heart. 'It won't be easy at first, but as you do them, it will become easier'. Chandler replied that he would, and everybody agreed to help. 'Yeah right, you know how I am about asking for help', Chandler said and Monica smiled and replied 'Well it looks like you don't have a choice, now do you'. The doctor said Chandler needed to get some rest as one-by-one, they all said goodbye and would see him the next morning

As Chandler falls asleep, he is comforted by the number of friends he has, and how they have rallied by him. He is also comforted with that fact, thanks to his spirit guide, he sees the difference he makes in the lives of those near and dear to him. In a dream he sees Monica standing in front of an alter, wearing a white wedding dress, as he places a ring on her finger and can't help but think he found a little piece of heaven.

The next morning, Chandler is dressed and has been officially discharged as an orderly arrives with a wheelchair, with the gang by his side. As he sits down in the wheelchair, he sees his spirit guide in the corner of the room, and in a brilliant flash of light, he was gone. He pointed at the direction and asked if anybody else saw anything. Monica looked at him funny and said 'Sweetie, we didn't see anything'. As the orderly wheeled him out of the room, Chandler turned his head, facing the room and quietly whispered 'Thanks'.


	20. TOW All The Adjustments

*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW All The Adjustments**

Monica and Phoebe are in the kitchen preparing dinner. Ross is sitting in the recliner watching TV, as Rachel sits in his lap, running her fingers thru his hair. Chandler was lying down on the sofa, flipping thru the TV channels. 'How many times has this happened to you', the announcer on the TV screen said. 'Never', Chandler smirked as he changed the channel again. He sighed and said '1,000 channels and not a damned thing on'. He continued to flip past the numerous TV stations, and just set the remote on the floor and said 'God, I am so bored'.

'We're sorry, but the doctor said you need to stay off your feet for at least a week', Phoebe reminded as Monica was having her stir a pot on the stove. 'But there's only so much on TV', he whined as Monica took a ladle, dipped it into the steaming pot and brought it over for Chandler to taste. He took a sip and said 'Taste OK, but do we have any steak'. Monica smiled and said 'Sorry, but it's not on the diet'.

'Screw it. I'm going out for a chili dog and fries', he groaned as he got up and made his way to the door. Monica went over to him, took his hand and led him back to the sofa and said 'I know this is hard. I know this sucks'. Chandler laid back down on the sofa and said 'It's just not fair. People keep reminded me and telling me that my life has changed. I just want my old life back'. Monica gently rubbed his shoulders and said 'I know you do, Chandler. We all do'. Rachel noticed Joey was not present and asked where he was, and Ross said Joey was probably at the sandwich shop. 'Don't worry, I saw that one coming and already took care of it', Monica informed them.

Joey was standing at the counter, and told the clerk 'I'll take an extra long meatball sub, and don't be too stingy with the cheese and sauce'. The clerk looked at Joey and said 'Just one'. He nodded and said 'Yeah, my friends are fixing dinner and I don't want to spoil my appetite'. The manager at the register shakes his head and said 'Sorry, Joey'. Joey looks puzzled and said 'For what'. The manager replied he was under orders from Monica not to let Joey have any sandwiches and pointed to a sign with his picture on it that read 'Do not let this man purchase any sandwiches'. Joey frowns and growls as he snatches the picture from counter and storms off in a huff. The manager sighs and simply puts up a replacement sign.

Phoebe and Monica were setting the table as Joey barges in, points an accusatory finger and Monica and said 'I got a bone to pick with you, Geller'. Ross pours some tea, and said 'We're all making sacrifices, Joey'.

'But the sandwich shop was my shrine. You defiled my shrine', Joey whined. Phoebe told him to quit his complaining, as they have fixed a delicious dinner. 'What are we having', Chandler asked and Phoebe proudly replied they were having veggie burgers. 'It has all the taste and flavor of hamburgers, but no cows had to die'. Monica smiled and said 'Try it, I know you'll love them. Plus they are low in fat and cholesterol'.

'I may as well get used to that', Chandler dryly replied as Monica helped him into the dining room, easing him into the chair. She places a veggie burger on his plate and everybody else sits down, and he took a small bite and said 'Hey, it's not that bad. Not as good as real hamburgers... but still, not bad'. Phoebe smiled and said 'Told ya'

After everybody had finished eating, Rachel said 'I hope you guys saved room for some dessert', as she placed a slice of apple pie on everybody's plate. Chandler ate about half the pie, and Monica noticed he seemed quiet and was not really taking part in the discussion, and she asked if he was ok. He nodded and said 'Yeah, I guess I'm just a little wiped out'. Monica nodded, and asked Joey and Phoebe to go with her to the back room, as she needed to talk with them.

Monica closed the door and said 'I think Chandler should stay here for a while, so somebody could look after him. Just until he's back on his feet, again'. Joey asked why he couldn't look after his best friend and Monica said 'Joey, please don't take this the wrong way or as an insult, but you wouldn't know how to look our for him. So until he's better, I think he should stay here. Phoebe do you mind staying with Joey for a while'.

Joey smiled and said 'All right! Female roommate'. Phoebe giggled and said 'Yeah, it's fine with me and Joey. But you have one more person you need to convince'. Monica thanked them and went back to get Chandler, saying she wanted to talk with him, and tried to help him from the chair but he said 'I think I can get out of the chair'. He tries to stand up but winces in pain and said 'Or maybe not', as he eases back down.

Monica gently helps Chandler from the chair and walks with him to the back room, and closes the door. 'OK, Chandler we think you should stay here so somebody can look after you, at least until you're well again'. Chandler told her that he was not some helpless infant, as Monica took his hand and said 'No sweetie, nobody is saying that at all. We just think that until you're back on your feet, somebody should be around...you know... just in case'

Chandler turned to Joey and said 'So, what do you think Joe'.

'I love you, dude. But I wouldn't know what to do if you needed help. I wouldn't even have a clue' Chandler nodded and said 'We'll you guys are going out of your way to help me, and make adjustments in your own life. The least I can do is make some adjustments of my own. Thanks guys'.

They all go back to the table as Rachel asked what that was all about. 'Well, we've decided that Chandler will stay here for a while'. Ross raised an eyebrow and said 'Really'? Chandler nodded and said 'At least until I am back on my feet'. Rachel nodded, saying she thought it was a good idea, 'I'm gonna miss you, dude', Joey said. 'He'll just be across the hall and you can see him anytime you want', Monica said as she rolled her eyes.

'I'll be in good hands, Joe. Besides you got Pheebs as a roommate', Chandler replied. 'Oh yeah that's right', Joey said full of excitement, turning to Phoebe and said 'And you know about Strip Poker Saturday, right'

It was later on in the evening as Ross and Joey were moving some of Chandler's things over to Monica's and moving some of Phoebe's things to Monica's apartment. Monica and Chandler thanked them for the help, as Ross delivered the last of the things, set them down and said 'Anytime'. Joey goes over and hugs Chandler tightly, causing him to wince.

'JOEY', Monica intoned. 'That's ok, Mon', Chandler replied and turned to Joey and said 'I'll miss you too, pal'. After everybody leaves, Monica asked if Chandler was OK, and he nodded saying he was just tired. 'I think I'm going to turn in', he said as Monica said the same thing and told each other goodnight as Monica went to her room, and closed the door and Chandler went to the other room, and closed the door.

-- The End --


	21. TOW The Engagement Plans

*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW The Engagement Plan**

Monica was in the kitchen making some oatmeal. cutting up some orange slices, and poured a glass of orange juice. She placed them on a tray and carefully carried them to the guest room, careful not to wake Chandler in case he was sleeping. Quietly she opened the door to find Chandler was already awake. 'I'm sorry, did I wake you' she asked as she placed the tray on the nightstand. Chandler shook his head, saying he had been awake for a while.

'Are you hungry', she asked as she sat down on the edge of the bed. Chandler thought for a moment and said 'A little bit, yeah. What's on the menu'? Monica replied she had fixed oatmeal, orange slices and orange juice. Chandler frowned and said 'Oatmeal'? Monica nodded and said 'Yeah, just try it. I put in some cinnamon and honey for flavor'. Chandler shrugged and said 'Yeah, I guess. But I really miss those little sausages. Monica smiled and shook her head and said 'Sorry. Doctor's orders'.

Chandler sniffs the air and Monica replied 'What are you doing'. Chandler said 'I smell bacon... and sausage' as he got up and made his way to the door. 'Where are you going', Monica asked and Chandler replied he was going across the hall... where the real food was at, as Monica restrained him.

-- Cut to Joey and Chandler's Apartment as Joey and Ross were eating eggs, bacon, and sausage --

'Ya know, if Monica knew what we were doing, she'd kill us', Ross informed as Joey took a bite of bacon and said 'Yeah, but it's a small price. Another day of that health-food crap, and I would have snapped'. Rachel enters the apartment and scolds them for cheating on the diet and said 'I can't believe you guys. We're supposed to be showing our support for Chandler'. Ross offered a plate of bacon and Rachel grabbed it and replied 'Oh God yes, I'd kill for some real food'

** Opening Credits **

'It's a nice day why do we open some windows and get some breeze in here', Monica suggested and Chandler just shrugged and mumbled 'Sure'. Monica looked at him and said 'Are you ok? What's wrong'. Chandler sighed and said 'I'm just trying to figure out what to do with my life'. She sat down next to Chandler and said 'So, anything come to mind'? He shook his head and replied 'Nope. Nothing at all. I spent the last 6 years there, doing the same thing day in and day out. I don't want just a job... I want something I can enjoy doing. I don't want a job. I want a future'

Monica nodded and said 'Everybody does and that's only natural. It usually happens when you least expect to, so don't rush it. Right now your only job is to get better and everything else will take care of itself' She got up and opened the window as a nice cool breeze wafted throughout the room as Ross called her name from the other room 'Mon, are you here'?

'Where in here, Ross', she answered and a few minutes Ross arrives and asks Chandler how he was feeling. 'Ok, just bored as all hell' he replied. Ross smiled and said 'I've got some great news for you guys'. Chandler smirked and said 'They found the last of the living dinosaurs'. Ross frowned and said 'No.. at least not yet' Monica asked what the news was and Ross said 'What a minute, where's Phoebe'. Chandler replied that she had a client call her, but would be back in about an hour.

'So what's the big news', Monica asked and Ross said he wanted to wait for Phoebe and said 'Ok, I have an errand to run, but I'll be back in one hour. Don't go anywhere'. Chandler smirked and said 'Like I have a choice, here'? Ross left and Monica turned to Chandler and said 'Ok, so how about that oatmeal'.

- Time Lapse -

It was about an hour later and everybody but Rachel is present, and Ross, Phoebe, Chandler and Monica were all gathered in the bedroom. 'Ok, so what's the big announcement', Monica asked. Ross looked around and said 'Where's Joey' and Phoebe said he was called to the Studio, as they had a script re-write. 'No', Monica said, we're not waiting again. Tell us the big news'. Phoebe asked where Rachel was and Ross replied that he sent her and Ben to the movies and said 'This is supposed to be a surprise'.

Ross reached into his pocket and shows off a ring. 'Is that what I think it is', Phoebe asked as Ross nodded. 'While we're in Miami, we have reservations at this romantic ocean-front restaurant, and that is where I plan to propose. I plan on hiding it in the dessert tray and when the waiter puts the plate on the table and removes the lid, it will have the ring' Monica and Phoebe coo as Chandler making gagging sounds.

'Hey you and Joey could learn a lot from him', Monica informed and Chandler said 'Yeah, he's an expert of proposals. So Ross, what number is this one', as Ross glares at him. The door to the apartment creaks open and Ross motions for everybody to keep quiet. A few moments later, Rachel steps into the bedroom and says 'So this is where everybody is at'. Ross asked her about the movie and Rachel said it was sold out, so they decided to come back home.

Monica tries not to well up as Rachel asked if she was ok. Ross replied 'Yeah she's fine. She went to a movie that was sold-out once, and cries each time she thinks about it'. Phoebe just stands there and says 'Awwww'. Rachel looked at her funny and asked what she was awww-ing about, and Ross said she was just awww-ing over how pathetic Chandler looked. 'Thanks man', he frowned. Monica hugged Rachel tightly and said 'Have a great time in Miami'.

Ross rolls his eyes as he shoos his little sister out of the room. 'What's with her', Rachel asked as Ross said she was just nuts and crazy. Phoebe hugs Rachel tightly and says 'Tell me everything. I want a full detailed report' as Ross pries her away and escorts her out of the room. Joey enters and says 'What's going on'? Rachel shrugged and said that everybody was acting weird and asked Joey if he knew what was going on. 'Hey Joey, I got some porn for ya', Ross called out from the living room as Joey said 'See ya, Rach' and darted out of the room. 'Chandler', Rachel asked but when she turned around, he was asleep. 'Good night, Chan', she quietly said before covering him with a blanket, turning off the light and closing the door shut.

It was later that evening and Chandler, having grown bored of just lying in bed all day long with nothing to do, goes to the living room and plops down on the sofa and grabs the remote control. Phoebe enters from the bathroom as Chandler asked where everybody was. Phoebe said Chandler was asleep for quite some time and that Joey and Amanda went on a date, and Monica was taking Ross and Rachel to the airport. She thinks for a second and says 'And how come you're not in bed? The doctor said for the first week you weren't supposed to be out of bed'

'Yeah I know, but I am just going nuts with nothing to do', he complained as he flipped through the channels. 'Well I guess a little TV can't hurt, but only until Monica comes back, Phoebe said as Chandler thanked her. ' I can't believe Ross is going to ask Rachel to marry him'. Chandler chuckled and said 'I wonder how long before they get divorced'. Phoebe said they should start a pool and Chandler exclaimed 'I call the first week'

**Ending Credits**

Monica, Ross and Rachel are at the airport as she helps them get their bags out of the trunk. She stands there and says 'Awwwwww", welling up again as Rachel said 'Couldn't you just go watch another movie or something. She looked funny at her friend and said 'What are you talking about'? Ross quickly jumps in and says 'Ok sweetie, they're getting ready to board the airplane. Monica hugs her tightly and said 'I hope you have a great time, and tell me everything'!

'I didn't know you were so interested in Ross' lectures. Personally they bore me to tears', Rachel said. Ross picked up the bags and said 'Ok, we should get going' as they both wave goodbye and board the airplane


	22. Tow The Proposal Season Finale

*Legal mumbo-jumbo: This story is not licensed or endorsed by Bright, Kauffman and Crane Productions and/or Warner Brothers. All characters and Central Perk are registered trademarks of Warner Brothers, all rights reserved.

**TOW The Proposal (Season Finale)**

Ross and Rachel are on an airplane, somewhere between New York and Miami when the flight attendant approached and said 'You had the steak is that correct', as Ross nodded. She then turned to Rachel and said 'And you had the fish, is that correct', as she nodded. She placed the food on their trays, as they thanked her. Rachel asked Ross what Monica and Phoebe meant when they told her to 'Tell her everything'. Ross pretends he couldn't hear what she was saying and Rachel once again asks the question, but Ross shrugs and said 'I dunno. They're strange, like that'. After a few seconds, Ross excuses himself, saying he needed to use the lavatory, and when he got up a small box fell out of his jacket.

Rachel made sure he wasn't looking, picked up the box and opened it to find the ring and silently mouths 'Oh my God'

** Opening Credits **

Rachel places the ring where she found it and about 5 minutes later Ross returns and glances down and sees the ring. He hopes that she didn't see the ring, and asks for her to go and get the flight attendant. While he sends her on a false errand, he quickly retrieves the ring and places it back in his jacket. A few moments Rachel returns with the flight attendant and Ross says 'Can we get another soda, please'. Rachel wanted to ask him about the ring, but decided to wait for him to bring it up, as the fight attendant returns with the soda.

Meanwhile back at Monica and Phoebe's apartment, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are engrossed in a game of monopoly. Monica rolls the dice and moves her token and Joey exclaims 'Oh yes, you just landed on Boardwalk. That'll be $500, please'. Monica pointed out that Joey had mortgaged it some time back. 'Aw crap', Joey pouted and Monica replied 'You just had to have that railroad'. Joey continues to pout and whine and Monica calls 'Chandler are we ready, yet'?

'Where are you guys going', Phoebe asked and Monica said Chandler was going to the doctor's office. 'Is everything ok', Joey asked as Monica nodded and said it's been a week since he got out of the hospital, and the doctor wanted to make sure everything was ok. Chandler and Monica leave as everybody wishes him good luck. After they leave, Joey quickly goes over to the sofa and pulls out a pizza he has been hiding.

'Look at the ocean, it's looks so blue', Rachel commented as she glanced out of the window and saw a beach lines with palm trees as the plane made its descent, before finally touching down at the Miami International Airport. Ross smiled as they were taxied to the gate as made their way to baggage claim

Meanwhile at the doctor's office, the doctor is going over Chandler's progress nods and says 'So far, so good' as Monica exhaled with relief. 'So we're out of the woods', Chandler asked and the doctor replied 'So far. So what plans did you have today'? Chandler chuckled and said 'You mean besides staying in bed, going out of my mind with boredom'. The doctor crack a smile chuckled and said 'Well, how do you feel about starting your physical therapy'.

'On second thought, lying around in bed all day long doesn't sound half bad', Chandler replied. The doctor shook his head and said 'And how is that going to help you get better', as Monica replied they would be there. The doctor gave them directions and said everything was ready for them, and asked if they could be there in an hour and Monica nodded. On their way out of the office, Monica reached for her cell phone and dialed a number.

The phone at Monica and Phoebe's apartment starts to ring, as she goes to answer it. 'Hello' she answered as Monica replied they would be returning a bit later than planned as the doctor wanted Chandler to go ahead and start his physical therapy regiment. She asked if she could talk to Chandler and Monica said to make it fast as they were getting ready to leave as she handed the phone to Chandler. 'Hey you, I just wanted to say good luck'. Chandler thanked her as they spoke for a few more moments before saying goodbye

Ross and Rachel had just left the airport and hailed a taxi to take them to the hotel. They arrived and went to check in, as the desk agent provided them with their key. They left and went to the elevator, pressing the button for the 5th floor. They slide the card into the slot on the wall, and the door opens with a click as Rachel points and says 'Look, we can see the ocean from here'. Ross smiles and says 'Did you want to have dinner tonight', as Rachel passionately kisses him and Ross said 'All of that, just for dinner'? Rachel smiled and said 'I would love to'.

'Hey Rach, will you....' Ross asked and Rachel kissed him again and said 'I will'. Ross reaches into his jacket and hands her some money and said 'Thanks. The soda machine is right down the hall. She leaves and a few moments later returns with 2 cans of soda as Ross said 'I'm sorry to have to do this, but Donald called and wanted to go over something for the lecture. So I need to meet with him, but are we still on for dinner'? As Rachel smiled and nodded, as they kissed before Ross left.

Meanwhile at the Studio, Joey has just finished a scene and is talking with his girlfriend, Amanda. 'I got a surprise for you', Joey said. 'Joey', Amanda said as Joey continued and said 'I booked as a whole weekend at the romantic cabin, upstate'. Amanda doesn't respond and Joey said 'I love you, Amanda. I know I've said I love you to a lot of different women, but this is the first time I think I actually mean it'. Amanda looked sad and said 'Joey, we need to talk'.

They sit down in the lobby area as Joey said 'We need to talk is never good. I should know because I've said it before'. Amanda said that her play is going on tour and Joey asked for how long, and Amanda said she would be on the road for at least two years. 'I'm sorry Joey, but this is my career and this play can really boost my career'. Joey simply replied that he was sorry as well, before walking away.

Phoebe is over at Joey and Chandler's apartment watching TV, and Joey enters and without saying a word, goes to his room and shuts the door. Phoebe grabs the remote control and turns the TV off and knocks on his door and asks what's wrong, but Joey said he didn't feel like talking and just wanted to be left alone for a while. 'Please talk to me Joey, don't shut me out', Phoebe pled as Joey opened the door as they sat down at the table, and Phoebe made him tell her what has happened.

'I guess you guys were right about me', Joey said and Phoebe said 'Right about what'? Joey said before they all said he was never in a serious relationship. Phoebe reached over, took his hand and said 'Honey, I'm sorry. We didn't mean anything buy that'. Joey shook his head and replied 'But it's true'. Phoebe handed Joey the phone and said 'Call her. Don't let her leave without talking with her. Trust me, you'll just hate yourself if you let her go, without at least talking'.

It was a few hours later as Monica and Chandler had returned from the physical therapy and Chandler said 'Never did I think I would be so happy to be back in bed' as Monica and Phoebe help him over to the sofa as he plops down. 'It will get easier', Monica comforted as Phoebe went to the refrigerator and handed Chandler a sports-drink.

Back at the hotel, Rachel was waiting for Ross to return from the lecture and was killing time by walking around the hotel, and as she turns a corner into the Lobby, she sees Barry checking in. 'How are you doing', he greeted with a quick peck on the cheek. 'I'm so sorry to hear about you and Mindy', she consoled as Barry shrugged and said 'Sometimes it just doesn't work out'. Barry asked what she was doing in Miami and Rachel explained she was with Ross, who was presenting a lecture.

'Do you think we made a mistake giving up so quickly', Barry asked. Rachel doesn't respond as Barry leans in and kisses her. Meanwhile Ross had just entered the lobby, saw them kiss. After watching them he leaves the lobby. 'There was no spark', Barry commented as Rachel agreed the spark was gone. 'That's what I needed to know', Barry said as they said goodbye and left.

It is later on on the day, and Rachel is in the hotel suite, worried that Ross had not returned. She called the front desk to see if possibly he left any messages, but after a few moments of checking, the desk clerk said that he had not. Rachel decided to call Monica, hoping Ross may have contacted her. 'I wonder where he could be', she asked over the phone and Monica suggested that perhaps his lecture was running late. 'Yeah, but still he would call. This is not like him', Rachel said. She changed the subject and told her that she ran into Barry, at the hotel.

'It was nice to see him again', Rachel continued as she told her about the kiss. 'WHAT', Monica exclaimed somewhat agitated, asking if Ross saw them kiss. 'Oh my god, Rachel exclaimed, 'do you think that's why Ross hasn't come by the room'. Monica said Ross was very paranoid, and Rachel said she would go and find him, as they said goodbye

Meanwhile Ross is at the hotel lounge, downing a bottle of beer and signaling for the bartender to hand him another one. He places a bottle in front of him and said 'So, what's her name'? Ross took a gulp of beer and asked what he meant. The old barkeep grinned and said 'Come on, buddy. I've been dishing out drinks for more than 25 years and more often than not, if a person has more than three beers, it's because of a woman'

'I was gonna propose to her tonight', he sighed as the bartender replied 'Really? Then what are you doing hanging around here'? Ross said that he was standing on the steps to the lobby and saw her kiss her ex-fianc. At that moment Rachel comes running up to Ross and said 'Honey, are you ok'. Ross simply shrugged and asked 'How's Barry doing'. Rachel sat down next to him and said 'Oh Ross, I am so sorry'. Ross finished his beer as Rachel said 'Listen to me Ross, it's over with Barry. It's been over for a long time ago. You're the one I want, so why don't we get out of here and go get something to eat. Ross reaches into his pocket and hands the bartender some money, but he shakes his head and said 'This one's on me. And let me give you some advice... you got a fine woman. Don't let her go. Take it from somebody who's been there'. Ross kissed Rachel and said 'I won't'

Meanwhile at the restaurant, Ross said 'I have loved you ever since the day I saw you, and dreamed of spending our lives together

_**I guess the time was right for us to say,**_  
_**We'd take our time and live our lives together day by day.**_  
_**We'll make a wish and send it on a prayer,**_  
**_We know our dreams can all come true with love that we can share_.**

Ross gets down on one knee

_**With you I never wonder, will you be there for me?**_  
**_With you I never wonder ... you're the right one for me._**

Ross removes the box from his jacket and opens it to reveal a sparkling ring

_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**A love to last my whole life through.**_  
_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
**_Forever in my heart, I finally found a love of a lifetime._**

'Rachel Karen Green' will you please do me the honor of becoming my wife'? He asked as he held out the ring

_**With every kiss our love is like brand new,**_  
_**And every star up in the sky was made for me and you.**_  
_**Still we both know that the road is long,**_  
**_But we know that we will be together because our love is strong_**

There is a tear in her eye and she smiled and said 'Yes I will'

_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**A love to last my whole life through.**_  
_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
**_Forever in my heart, I finally found a love of a lifetime._**

Ross places the ring on her finger, as they kiss

_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**A love to last my whole life through.**_  
_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
**_Forever in my heart, I finally found a love of a lifetime._**

_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**I finally found a love of a lifetime,**_  
_**Forever in my heart, I finally found a love,**_  
**_.......................................... of a lifetime._**


End file.
